bacs kingdom parent code of conduct

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BACS KINGDOM PARENT CODE OF CONDUCT

The Bay Area Christian Parent The decision of your son or daughter to participate in school athletics requires a family commitment. A decision to allow your son or daughter to participate in competitive athletics is a decision to encounter a special set of stresses and should involve a decision on how to handle those stresses in an appropriate Christian way. Prior to participation, an athlete must consider the cost and determine if s/he is willing to pay the price; likewise, the parents must consider the commitment and stress demands and determine if they are willing to pay the price. Athletics assumes a far too important role in our society. Too much value is placed on athletic prowess and achievement. It does, however, have great value when placed in perspective. It has a place in the education environment when it can contribute to a student’s healthy development physically, academically, spiritually and socially without negative effects on the student athlete or on the rest of the school program. There are some formidable challenges to the accomplishment of these goals. A parent is preoccupied with his/her own son or daughter. No one else is. Other parents are preoccupied with their sons and daughters. The coaches, although they love and care about the individual, do not put the individual ahead of the needs and the good of the team. The officials of the game are not focused solely on any one individual. It is not reasonable to expect that the team can focus on meeting each students every need. Parents at times bring personal issues to this player-coach-team relationship, some parents have ego needs relating to their past successes or failures in athletics. This is not fair to the students or to coaches. Some have unrealistic evaluations of their student’s talent and potential. Some have exaggerated notions of their insight into the skills and strategy of a particular sport. Some may be just selfish when it comes to their own son or daughter. All are emotionally biased when it comes to their own son or daughter. This is the natural intense love of parents for their sons or daughters. Coaches, at times, have cut a student from the team even though they knew the student would benefit by being a part of the team and knew that the student could fill a particular role on the team. In this case many times the coach feels s/he cannot put the student on the team because his/her talent level is not such that s/he would get much playing time. The sad thing in this situation is that most of the time the student can accept his limited role on the team and live with it, but parents have unrealistic expectations. A student will not benefit from any situation, which is undermined by negativism or faultfinding on the part of the parent. This is true of church, youth group, class at school, athletics or any activity that the student participates. Parents who allow their sons or daughters to be a part of any activity should convince them that they support it and believe in those who administer it. Parents that cannot support the activity or those who administer the activity should remove their sons or daughters. To allow them to continue without support would only destroy the potential for the activity to benefit the students. Communicate your concerns with those who administer the activity, but vent feelings and frustrations in private, to protect the student from the doubts and attitudes that will prevent him/her from enjoying and benefiting from the activity. Accept some realities about coaches. They are not infallible evaluators of talent and potential. They do not claim to be. But teams cannot be coached by committee, or by parents. Someone must evaluate and someone must make decisions. Someone must mold the individual personalities and emotions into a team. Most often, the coach can make decisions concerning the team with an objectivity that parents do not have. They can do what is best for the team without the emotional bias that parents possess. This emotional bias and this lack of objectivity of parents oftentimes affect the attitudes and behaviors towards officials. Many see the officiating of any game through team colored glasses. Usually there is a second group at the same gym or field who sees it the exact opposite, through their own team colored glasses. When athletes hear their parents and coaches ridicule and insult officials they learn the wrong lessons about courtesy, respect, personal responsibility and self-control.

The following is a list of “do’s” and “don’ts” for your consideration: 1. 2. 3.

4. 5. 6.

7.

Do voice your concerns and objections directly and privately to the coach. Do not show disrespect by going to his/her supervisor before discussing it with the coach first. Do go to the coach’s supervisor if your concerns are not satisfied after meeting with the coach. Do support the coach in front of your son or daughter. If you can’t support the coach after private, calm, reasonable attempts to solve any problem or concern you have, it is best to remove your son or daughter from the team. Do not coach your son or daughter from the stands. It embarrasses your student and it is offensive to others. Do not criticize your son or daughter’s teammates or the opposing team’s players. They are just kids and they probably have people in the stands that would take offense to negative comments. Do not get personal with officials by name-calling and insults. These actions are bad-sportsmanship and un-Christian. Although this behavior is now condoned and encouraged at major sporting events, that does not make it right nor is it a privilege bought with the price of a ticket. Do remember that it is a game. It can be a very good tool to mold character and prepare students for life. It can also be a destructive tool that can break up friendships, embarrass family, hurt a son or a daughter or dishonor the name of Christ that we bear.

I have read the Parent Code of Conduct and agree to abide by these values stated above:

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