character matters

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CHARACTER MATTERS

Week Three | January 20, 2019 | Revealing the Gospel with Our Lips

GETTING RE ADY Before your group meets next time, spend some time alone in God’s Word reading through this week’s texts. Pray that God, through His Spirit, would bring to life the truth of this text and how it applies to your life.

KEY BIBLICAL TRUTH God hates a lying tongue and a false witness.

THEOLOGY APPLIED We are to put off the old self and lying lips and put on the new self, which mandates speaking truthfully to one another.

MEDITATE “Whoever speaks the truth gives honest evidence, but a false witness utters deceit. There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment” (Proverbs 12:17–19).

+ Use this section to prepare your heart and mind for the truths of this week. This section will help to introduce the focus of this week’s lesson.

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A false witness is one of the seven things that the book of Proverbs says the Lord hates. God abhors dishonesty and deceit. Why are honesty and truthfulness such a big deal to Him? Why does Scripture specifically say God hates dishonesty above other sins? Let’s take a moment and consider what God created and called us to be. We were created in God’s image. We were created to reflect who God is and what He is like. The reality that we are made in the imago Dei (image of God) speaks clearly to why character matters and how to display a character that matters. Being created in God’s image means we are supposed to love the things God loves and hate the things He hates. Our lives and our character should be marked by the image we carry, the one we are called and were created to reflect. So, let’s briefly consider some of things that characterize God: •

Jesus claimed that He is “The truth” (John 14:6).

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Jesus said, “Your word is truth” (John 17:17).

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“The sum of Your word is truth” (Psalm 119:160).

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“A God of faithfulness and without iniquity, just and upright is He” (Deuteronomy 32:4b).

It doesn’t take long to realize that God is a God of truth. He is without error. His Word is without error. Jesus is the truth and the only way to salvation. When you begin thinking about what God is like and what characteristics define Him, truth is one of the first places you begin. God is full of truth and, as people responsible for bearing His image well, we should be characterized by truth too. Honesty keeps us away from falsehood and lying. We are to be honest, representing truth with our lives as a reflection of the completely true God who created us. We are to be without falsehood and lying lips as a representation that the God who created us is without falsehood. The call to honesty begins and ends with the truthfulness of the God who created us to reflect and display Him.

Q: When we think about the challenge to be honest with our lips, how is it helpful to start with the honesty and truthfulness that exist first in God? Q: What are some other ways that being made in the image of God impacts our lives and our character?

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U N D E R S TA N D I N G T H E T E X T Scripture is filled with mentions of God’s heart for honesty and truthfulness and what that means for how we are to live. We struggle with living honestly and truthfully because of how much of our old selves we are still clothed in. We realize that lying and deceit and dishonesty are temporal things, while honesty and truthfulness represent the character of God and are eternal. We may be born again, but we often walk and live as if we aren’t. It is when we put on Christ and put on the new self, clothed in His grace and righteousness, that we begin to walk in honesty and truthfulness.

1. WHY WE L ACK HONEST Y 2. THE IDOLS BEHIND OUR L ACK OF HONEST Y 3. HOW TO BE CHARACTERIZED BY HONEST Y

+ This next section will help show what God’s Word says about this week’s particular focus. Read through the Scripture passages and connect the text to this week’s biblical truth.

WHY WE L ACK HONEST Y COLOSSIANS 3:1–17

Q: Aside from the basic premise of not telling the truth/lying, in what specific ways do your life and your conversation lack honesty? What other sins are at the root of dishonesty? Q: What situations (conversations or interactions with certain people) present the most challenge with honesty and truthfulness for you? Why are you more prone to dishonesty in these situations?

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Lying is inevitable. Although we are called to be image bearers of truth, our sinful hearts lead us to do the exact opposite. Our sin causes us to twist and bend the truth because our sin stands in direct opposition to the truth. While Jesus is complete truth, our sin is as far from truth as possible. Lying is sometimes intentional, but many times our dishonesty isn’t intentional. We often don’t understand our own actions. The very things we want to do we don’t end up doing, much like Paul wrestles with his own sin in Romans 7. Although we have the desire to be honest and tell the truth, we don’t have the ability to carry it out perfectly. Jim Carrey starred in Liar Liar, a movie in which he portrays a lawyer who is successful because of his ability to lie and embellish the truth in court for his clients. His inability to be honest destroys his marriage and his relationship with his young son. The boy makes a birthday wish for his dad to not be able to lie for one day, and it comes true. Carrey’s character, Fletcher, is bound to tell the truth during one of the biggest and most important cases of his career. He goes from being unable to do anything but lie to being unable to do anything but be honest. Liar Liar illustrates polar opposites—complete falsehood and complete truth. In the reality of our daily lives, we find ourselves in the battle somewhere between the two extremes, wavering between honesty and dishonesty. Our lives are complex and we vacillate between truth and falsehood, honesty and dishonesty. We lack honesty because we are still controlled by our sinful flesh. We lack honesty because, even though we are made in God’s image, we are clothed in the old self of our sinful nature. And one of the practices of the old self is lying. We will continue to lack honesty as long as we walk in the manner of our old selves and ignore or neglect the daily practice of being clothed in and walking in our new selves. Even once we’ve come to faith in Christ and have been given His righteousness, we must make it a daily practice to clothe ourselves in the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator (Colossians 3:10). Honesty isn’t something that just comes naturally to us. It only comes as a result of walking by and walking in the righteousness of Christ. It is then that we reflect the image we were created to reflect.

Q: How have you experienced the power of not doing the things you want to do and doing the very things that you hate? How can you relate to the war of your soul that Paul talks about in Romans 7:4–25? Q: What daily practices would help you put off the old self and put on the new self? How have you experienced victory and success in doing this in the past?

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THE IDOLS BEHIND OUR L ACK OF HONEST Y PROVERBS 12:17–22; EPHESIANS 4:25; PROVERBS 24:26

Q: When you lack honesty, is it typically something you plan to do going into a situation, or do you catch yourself doing it spontaneously in the midst of a situation? Q: How do you handle honesty differently between people you are close to compared with honesty towards strangers?

Honesty is an issue that typically manifests itself in words. You are characterized as honest or dishonest based on what you say or don’t say. And while honesty ends with the lips, it always begins in the heart. “Deceit is in the heart of those who devise evil” (Proverbs 12:20). Dishonesty is manifested in what you say, but it is made in the intentions of your heart. We are honest or dishonest with people because of what we believe about them in our heart. When honesty is considered more a heart issue than a words issue, we begin to see that it isn’t as simple and straightforward as we’d like it to be. Our hearts are complex and corrupt and cause our words to declare what we really think about others and ourselves. Our sinful behavior is driven by our sinful hearts. The idols we exhibit with our words reveal the idols in our hearts. Four major heart idols drive our behavior and honesty—power, control, comfort, and approval. When and with whom we choose to be honest are almost always based on our longing for one or more of these four idols of the heart. We desire influence or recognition, so we lie a little about our accomplishments. We want acceptance from others, so we don’t tell the whole truth about a situation. Just as the reformer Martin Luther said that pride is at the root of all sins, so our lack of honesty goes back to our struggle with pride. We stretch the truth, we add a few false details, we exaggerate what really happened. We do these things because we want to make ourselves look better than we think we really are. We don’t believe people will love us, accept us, or care for us unless we can get more power or control or comfort or approval. And one of the ways to gain those things is by being dishonest.

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Q: How does the concept of the church and its description as a family of believers make honesty so vitally important? Q: Which of the four main heart idols do you struggle with most when it comes to your sinful desires to be dishonest?

HOW TO BE CHARACTERIZED BY HONEST Y COLOSSIANS 3

Q: When have you or someone you know gotten caught and suffered consequences for not being honest? Q: When has it paid off for you or someone you know to be honest, even when you really didn’t want to be?

Honesty isn’t really hard in theory, but it is much more difficult in practice. We’ve already seen that we lack honesty because, even as believers, we walk around in our old, sinful flesh. Lying and dishonesty are primary characteristics of the old self (Colossians 3:9). Therefore, to be honest we must put off the old self and put on the new self (Colossians 3:10). One of the hard things about living by faith in the gospel is that the secret and power to change lie not in yourself, but in Christ. Putting off the old self and putting on the new self are much easier said than done. While Paul compares this process to clothing being taken off and put on, it is not as simple as it sounds or as simple we’d like it to be. It could be said that the key to being honest doesn’t begin with trying hard to be honest, but with encountering Jesus. Qualities and characteristics like honesty are not acquired by trying harder, but by putting on the new self that is renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator (Colossians 3:10). Honesty comes, in other words, not by working harder, but by believing better. We reflect the image of God best when we know God the deepest. The further we dig into the unsearchable riches of Christ, the better we will be able to reflect His character, and that 29

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includes our ability to be honest. One thing Paul’s picture does is to remind us that removing the clothing of our old self and the putting on of the new self isn’t a one-time thing, but a daily posture. You don’t get dressed one time and then are forever done with it. Putting on the new self isn’t a one-time thing either. Because we always default to walking in our old self and according to our flesh, we must put on the new self every day as a reminder of how we are to live and who we represent.

Q: How is the picture Paul uses of putting off (of the old self) and the putting on (of the new self) helpful for you when it comes to your character and particularly your honesty? Q: Why is it crucial to remember that you have to take off the old self and then put on the new self? Why can’t you just put on the new self on top of the old self?

+ Connect the truths from God’s Word to your daily life. Process how what you’ve learned this week will impact the way you live beyond today and into the future.

Q: In what other areas of your life can you apply honesty, in addition to just your words and your conversation? How can your entire life, not just your words, be characterized by honesty? Q: What are some characteristics and attributes of God’s character? Make a list and take time this week to meditate on these characteristics as you seek to reflect them in your own life and character.

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THIS IS US Q: Honesty and truthfulness operate together. How does one lead to the other? How can you daily apply this concept in your life?

+ Use these prayer points to connect your time in prayer to this week’s focus.

Our most gracious heavenly Father: •

Give me a deeper understanding of Your character. May I know “the unsearchable riches of Your grace” and be able to comprehend “what is the breadth and length and height and depth” of the love of Christ.

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May my life reflect the God who created me and saved me. Renew my mind, heart, and spirit “in knowledge after the image of my creator.”

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Help me to be full of truth just as You are full of truth. May I long for and desire Your Word, which is full of truth.

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Give me the daily discipline to put off the old self of my sinful nature and to put on the new self, clothing myself in Your righteousness as I walk in Your ways and not my own.

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Remove the idols in my heart that lead me to be dishonest and help me trust and be secure in who I am in You.

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