Lecture 2 A Man for Others

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A MAN FOR OTHERS Men, we are going to jump right in today. This is the longest talk I’ve ever done in Quest, probably because I love the topic so much. Last week began our series: Learning Lessons from Losers, Loves and Leaders by looking at Samson. We saw that he was the epitome of the self-absorbed man. His life was never about God or others. As a result, though he was called, gifted and anointed, Samson failed to fulfill God’s purpose for his life. The man we are looking at this morning could not be more different. He believed the way you succeed in life is by investing yourself in others and helping them succeed. He is not one of the biggest names in the Bible. As a matter of fact, when I tell you his name, you won’t know who I’m talking about. Joseph. Not Joseph the father of Jesus. Not Joseph who was sold into slavery by his brothers in the Old Testament. Not Joseph of Arimathaea, the secret disciple of Jesus who buried him after he was crucified. Then who?

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The reason you don’t recognize his name, is because nobody called him by that name They referred to him by his nickname. I love nicknames. In the entertainment world, there was Elvis the Pelvis, Frank Sinatra was old blue eyes or the chairman of the board. Bruce Springsteen is still called – the boss. In sports – let’s see how you did on your sheet. Some of these are very easy. I’m particularly interested if you got all of the first names right on a few of them. Pictures The Minister of Defense was – Reggie White The Golden Bear – Jack Nicklaus The Chief – Robert Parrish The Iceman – George Gervin – cool demeanor on the court The Galloping Ghost – Harold “Red” Grange Whitey – Edward Charles Ford Clyde – Walt Frazier The Georgia Peach – Tyrus Cobb Sleepy – Eric Augustus Floyd Oil Can – Dennis Ray Boyd And my favorite growing up in Texas City, Jimmy Winn was known as? The Toy Cannon. One other nickname. Dennis Rodman was known as what? The Worm. Why? Because he’s Dennis Rodman.

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One thing that’s cool about a nickname is that there’s always a reason for it. It may be geographical or something a person said or did, the way he looks, what he cares about. But there’s some reason that name is just right for that guy. Back to Joseph. What was his nickname? Acts 4.36: There was a Levite, Joseph, a native of Cyprus, whom the apostles nicknamed Barnabas, which means “The Encourager.” I love the word “encourage.” It literally means “to put heart into someone.” And that’s what encouragers do. They give people heart. People who have lost heart, people who are disheartened, people who are broken-hearted, people who don’t know if they have the heart for the challenge they’re facing, encouragers give them their hearts back. And that’s what Joseph did: he built others up, he gave them second chances, he saw their potential and he risked himself for others, when no one else would.

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And the apostles saw all of this and they were so impressed, that they called him “The Encourager.” Literally, “Barnabas” means ‘the son of encouragement.’ In other words, if encouragement could give birth to a son and bring him into the world. the apostles said, “this would be the guy.” If encouragement could put its DNA into a human being and remake him in its image, it would be Barnabas. Only once is he referred to as Joseph. Every other time he is referred to as Barnabas, the Encourager. How stinkin’ cool is that? When the apostles wanted Joseph, they would say, “Go get the Encourager,” or “We have a situation here; we need the Encourager.” And everybody knew who they were talking about. Question: If you were to be named after your number 1, overriding trait, what would it be? The encourager or the critic? The edifier or the demoralizer? The Son of Humility or the child of Arrogance.

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How awesome, if someone said, Go, get the encourager and everyone knew he was referring to you. Or, go get Faithful and True, or go get the Servant, or go get Integrity, or go get the Man of God, and everybody knew they were talking about you? Barnabas, believed he would succeed in life by giving others a vision of who they could be and then giving them the heart to pursue that vision. And I believe he was right. My father was a band director in Texas City for 36 years. Here’s a picture of him as a young man. Picture He won just about every award possible, was inducted into the Texas Bandmasters Hall of Fame, and was literally a legend in the band world. In 2012, he was invited back to Texas City as they named the new band hall after him. He had been gone for 30 years. Here’s a picture of my mother and him when he was being honored. Picture I’m proud of my dad. Yes, for his accomplishments, but more for what he did for others.

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He’s 88 now, and still people I don’t know, usually at a wedding or a funeral, come up to me and ask, “Are you Bob Renfroe’s boy?” When I say that I am, they tell me about being in one of his bands, or being a young band director just starting out – and how my father took time to encourage them, teach them, help them. And then they say, “Please tell him what a difference he made in my life.” My dad, here he is today, 88, (picture) has a Facebook page. And here are a few comments from students he would have taught at least 30 years ago. Unforgettable. Irreplaceable. The most important lessons, I learned from you. Mr. Renfroe, I hope you know what an important role you played in my becoming the woman I am today. I think of you often with admiration and fondness. The only teacher and layman that stood up for me. I will never forget my favorite, awesome band director...and church friend... How do you succeed at life? Be good at what you do. And be good at helping other succeed. Jesus gave us two great commandments. Love God.

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Love others. You and I will not succeed in life unless we love others in ways that build them up, give them heart, and make them better. How do we give people heart? By investing our time in their lives, by sharing our expertise, by investing our finances when appropriate, and by putting our faith in them – pointing out their potential and helping them gain a vision for their lives. Barnabas did all of these things, and as we’ll see his impact and his influence were remarkable. BARNABAS INVESTED HIMSELF IN 1. A LEADER WHO WAS ALL ALONE. If you know the story of Paul, you know he didn’t start out as an apostle or even as a Christian. In fact, he didn’t even start out as Paul. Originally, he was Saul. When we first meet him, he is putting some Christians in jail and others he’s having executed. On his journey to Damascus, Jesus revealed himself to Saul in a vision, changed his name to Paul, and told him that he was going to use him to reach Jews and Gentiles alike with the Good News of redemption.

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At some point, Paul thinks, I need to meet with the men who walked with Jesus, see if what I’m teaching is right, and learn what I can. So after years of persecuting them, Paul thinks, “I’ll just mosey on over, cozy up to them, and we’ll become the best of buds.” How do you think that worked? This guy had your brother thrown in jail. This is the man who had your uncle killed. And Paul says, “Fellas, I’ve changed. Let me come on in, learn your names, and find out where you all live.” Not gonna happen. Acts 9.26-28: When Saul arrived in Jerusalem, he tried to meet with the believers, but they were all afraid of him. They thought he was only pretending to be a believer. Then Barnabas brought him to the apostles and told them how Saul had seen the Lord on the way to Damascus. Barnabas also told them … how Saul boldly preached in the name of Jesus in Damascus. Then the apostles accepted Saul, and after that he was constantly with them in Jerusalem, preaching boldly in the name of the Lord.

Look at our boy Barnabas. Somehow he has already met Paul, talked with him, learned his story, come to believe in him and is willing to take a risk on him.

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Our guy hears about Saul’s conversion, and while the apostles stayed away, he checked out if God had been at work in Saul’s life. And here he is building a bridge of trust, making a way for Paul to be accepted and included. You have to wonder would there have ever been Paul, the great missionary saint, the man who did more to spread the Christian faith in the first century than anyone else other than Jesus – would Paul as we know him have existed had it not been for Barnabas the encourager. Right out of seminary I was here for six years and then went away for 13 years and now have been back for sixteen. The first place I went was Atlanta, TX. It was a great town with great folks and it was a great church that had been down for awhile but it had starting doing better. But being a first born who feels overly responsible and being a perfectionist who expects too much and comparing that East Texas church to the dynamic growth of The Woodlands, and honestly, investing my ego and my sense of success with how the church was doing, I became very discouraged and lost most of the joy in life and all of my joy in ministry. Lots of people live with much more difficult situations than what I was going through. But I was where I was, and where I was was a place where I was without my heart.

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One Saturday morning as I left to work on my sermon, I told Peggy, I’m tired of doing this. I don’t think I can do this forever. I don’t think I want to do this forever. As I walked out the door, I turned around and angrily said, “Just give me two good reasons why I shouldn’t quit.” Peggy was smart enough not to try to answer me, but she said she’d pray for me, which only made my madder. I came home for lunch still in a foul mood. And Peggy was all smiles. I have your two reasons, she said. What? The two reasons you can’t quit the ministry. Ok, let’s hear them, I said, ready to pick them apart. Elaine Banks and Judy Thompson. Never heard of them. Well, they both heard your sermon on the radio this morning, and they both called while you were out. Every Saturday the local radio station played my sermon from the previous week. The fact that someone had called got my attention. No one had ever called before. No one ever called afterwards.

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Peggy went on. Elaine Banks, she lives in Louisiana, she said that about a year ago she lost her husband. And she lost her way in life. And your sermon was exactly what she needed to hear this morning, and now she believes that there’s hope for her and she can start over again. Judy Thompson called from Arkansas. She said she’s been going through the most difficult time of her life and that she’s been depressed and living in a dark house and hasn’t opened the blinds for the past two months. But as she heard you on the radio this morning, she felt the presence of God, and she went to her living room and opened the blinds and saw the sun shining, and now she believes everything is going to be all right. I thought to myself, Well, durn, I wish I had said give me three good reasons. Every one of us gets to a low spot where we need someone to encourage us. Every one of us gets to a place where we need to know that what we do is making a difference and someone appreciates us. You know why people work at a church? Not just pastors but other staff people who work in rec ministry or Special Blessings or youth ministry or leading worship and music, caring ministries laypersons and pastors. Because they want to help people. Because they want to make a difference

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in the lives of others. And I can tell you everybody gets to a place where they wonder: Does it matter? What I’m doing – is it helping anybody? And I can tell you that it’s like water to a thirsty man to hear You’re making a difference. You’re helping me, you’re helping my husband. He never liked church, but he likes the small group you lead and he’s changing. Thank you. My kids cannot wait to get to church on Sunday mornings, what y’all do with them in Sunday school is so great, they feel so loved here, I can’t tell you how much that means to me. What you said, the way you cared, God used you in my life. Thank you. People need that. Think of someone – it might be someone in the church. Let them know the difference they’re making. Write an email. But send a card. Better yet, go for coffee and look someone in the eye and say: People probably don’t tell you enough but God’s using you; you’re making a difference in my life; you’re making a difference in the life of my family.

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It could be someone who helped you in the past. Or your wife and all she does for your family. Or some young guy trying hard at work. You be Barnabas. You be the Encourager. You be the person who notices, the persons who takes the time to say something or do something – that says I appreciate you and you’re making a difference. It might just be what they need to get their heart back and keep on doing what they do for others. 2. A MAN WHO FELT LIKE A FAILURE Before we look at Barnabas I want to show you part of an ESPN 30 for 30 that really impressed me. You may remember that the Buffalo Bills went to the Super Bowl four years in a row. ’91-94. They lost every one. And they got the reputation for being losers, though during that period they won more games than any other team in the NFL. The first game against the Giants was the most dramatic. With 2:16 remaining, down 20-19, the Bills forced the Giants to punt and took the ball at their own 10-yard line. Jim Kelly led an impressive drive down to the Giants’ 29 with 8 seconds left on the clock. There was just time for a field goal.

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You can guess what happened. What I want you to watch for is the reaction of the Buffalo fans. When I saw it, I was completely surprised and so impressed that it almost made me change my opinion of Yankees. Clip: Four Falls of Buffalo. Norwood did return the next year. He was perfect in the postseason, including a 44 yarder that was the decisive factor in the Bills’ 10-7 win over Denver in the AFC championship game. A man who felt like a failure. And the worst kind. He felt like he had failed not just himself, but his brothers on the field, and his family in the stands. And yet, their gracious act of encouragement, though it didn’t rewrite history, it did give him his heart back and led to success in the future. All of us fail and all of us will need someone to encourage us. And all of us will encounter guys who will fail. They’ll fail at work, or they’ll fail their families, or they’ll fail morally.

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And we will have a chance to say, with our words and with our time, you can come back, we believe in you, we’re depending on you, and we’ll walk with you into the future. Back to Barnabas. Paul and Barnabas are planning to go on a mission trip together. And there is a young man, John Mark, who goes with them. Missionary trips at that time were a lot harder than they are now. You’re going to preach Christ to people who have never heard of Christ and who are likely to be angry and antagonistic when you do. You don’t travel by plane or in an air-conditioned car. You don’t call ahead, check out a website, or partner with a mission organization so you have your accommodations reserved when you get there. It was physically, emotionally and spiritually draining work. And it wasn’t for four days or a week. It was for months, sometimes for years. And we don’t know why, but somewhere along the way, John Mark decided he couldn’t do it anymore and he returned home. Eventually Paul and Barnabas return. Time passes

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and they’re ready to set out again. And guess who wants to go? John Mark. He wants a second chance. Acts 16: 36-40: After some time Paul said to Barnabas, “Let’s return to each city where we previously preached the word of the Lord …” Barnabas agreed and wanted to take along John Mark. But Paul disagreed strongly, since John Mark had deserted them …. Barnabas took John Mark with him and sailed for Cyprus.

This is not Paul’s finest moment. But I get it. Some of us are very task-oriented. When we have work to do, getting the job done is what matters to us. We don’t want to bring on board people who are going to slow us down or get in the way. I understand that. But Barnabas says, “I see something in this young man. I’m going to take a risk and give him a second chance.” So Paul and Barnabas decide to go in different direction. So John Mark, usually we refer to him as Mark, how did he do? By every account, very well. So well, in fact, that later in the Book of Acts we find him being a leader in the church. and even working alongside Paul. In fact Paul comes to respect him and we read about their working together.

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Now, watch this. Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Mark wrote the second Gospel. Most scholars believe even though it’s second in order, Mark’s was the first Gospel written. Would there become a young man who became a leader? Would there have been a Gospel of Mark without Barnabas? Probably not. But The Encourager believed that great failures can rise. If someone cares, if someone provides a second chance, if a man will say to another, I believe in you and I’m going to walk with you, Barnabas believed a man’s mistakes can be redeemed, a man’s life can be changed, and a man’s failures in the past can make him a better man in the future. One more. We see Barnabas invest himself in 3. THE LIVES OF YOUNG BELIEVERS If you’ve been in the church for a while, you can start thinking everyone’s like you. You’re comfortable coming, so probably everybody is. You have plenty of friends here, so everybody must have plenty of friends here. You’ve got faith, your marriage is good, you’re certain of God’s love – that must be the way it is with most people who go to church.

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Not if we’re doing our job here. Not if we’re creating a welcoming place where people can come who are broken, who don’t have faith yet, who are wondering if God could love and church folks could accept someone who has made all the mistakes they’ve made. This church and Quest, and you know this, so I’m not really preaching at you, but this wasn’t just created so those of us who’ve “gotten it” could get more of it. So we could learn more and grow more and get closer to God. I’m all for that. But the church and Quest and all that we do here was created so we could help others who don’t yet have it – it being the certainty of God’s love, the experience of being accepted as they are, a life that’s right, a marriage that’s working and a faith that keeps them strong. There really are people like that in our church. They haven’t yet come to faith or they just have and they need someone to love them and walk with them and invest his life in theirs. This can be as simple as inviting someone to church or to Quest. Or taking them out to lunch after church. Or being willing to lead a small group for men or for young adults. I regularly get requests: Is there someone in the church who could mentor me on how to be a successful man and a Christian man in the business world? We need people right now in all these areas.

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Barnabas did this in a very cool way. There were some folks who had just come to faith in Antioch. Great news, but there was a concern. They were Gentiles. None of the apostles have met with them, and they’re skeptical. Heathens in the Roman world were known as idolaters who worshipped any number of gods. They were grossly immoral and very permissive sexually. And now the report is they’ve come to believe in Jesus. And the apostles want to know – have they really understood what it means to accept Christ? Have they put away their other gods, and understood that Jesus is Lord and there is no other? Have they repented of their sins and changed their lives? And so they sent someone to check them out. And thank God they sent the right guy: Barnabas. Acts 11.22-23: When the church at Jerusalem heard what had happened, they sent Barnabas to Antioch. When he arrived and saw the grace of God, he was filled with joy, and he encouraged – there’s our boy Barnabas doing what he does – he encouraged the believers to stay true to the Lord.

We went by it so fast, you may not have noticed it. But it said, “When he saw what?” When he saw folks who understood the depths of the Christian faith, people who fully comprehended the radical claims of Jesus upon their lives, believers who were now living completely and perfectly for Christ?

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No. He saw the grace of God at work. He saw something beginning. He didn’t need to see perfection. He saw people starting a long journey, he saw change beginning to happen, he saw their potential. And he encouraged them. Keep going. Don’t give up. God will help you. We will help you. You’ve got a great life ahead of you and you are going to do great things for God. A seminary professor I know, Ted Campbell, a man I have repsected, a few years ago, he found out that I was from Texas City. And he said, Hey I know someone from Texas City. When I was in high school, he was an adult who came to our church in Beaumont for a lay witness mission. And he led me to Christ. Do you know a man named Alvin Sodeberg? I heard that name and my heart leaped.

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Yeah, Ted. I became a Christian between my junior and senior years in high school. A summer youth director led a bunch of us to Christ; we experienced the reality of God and the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives. And then he left and we wanted to share with other kids what had happened with us but we didn’t really have anyone to help us. We started having meetings on Tuesday nights away from the church so kids who might not be comfortable in the church would come and we would tell them about Jesus. And people said what should we call it? And I came up with this all on my own. Let’s call it The Tuesday Night Meeting, that’s what we’ll invite them to – the Tuesday night meeting. It was right then I thought, with that kind of brilliance I should probably be a professional communicator. And here I am today. Still full of great ideas. We’d tell somebody’s mom, we’re going to have some kids over. Would you make brownies and could we use your house. Some Tuesdays over 200 kids showed up. And we’d sing and some other guy or I would get up and tell people about Jesus and many came to Christ. Here’s the sad thing. We weren’t doing it at the church. And that bothered the pastor.

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And sometimes people would call up and say, We’re not part of your church. But my daughter wants to go to this Tuesday night meeting that some of your kids are leading. Do you think it’s ok for her to go? And our pastor would say, I don’t know. I think they may be getting too carried away. God at work – but our pastor didn’t know. There was one guy who hung out with us. Mr. Sodeberg. He wasn’t part of our church. He was blue collar, a laborer in one of the plants, and First Church Texas City, was more white collars and professionals. He drove and old beat up pickup truck with a camper top. He’d be there every Tuesday night. And he’d say, Hey, boys, listen. There’s some churches in Houston where God’s Spirit is moving. And I want you to see it, experience it. And off we’d go. Then on Tuesday after everything was over, he’d come up and say, “Ooh, this was so good tonight. The Holy Spirit is on you boys, I could just see it. Y’all did such a good job telling people about Jesus.

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Look, God’s calling is on your life. Don’t you ever forget that. God’s calling is on your life. There’s nothing better. You be true to that. After I told Ted that story, he sent me a picture of another time Mr. Sodeberg had been in Beaumont. I remembered being there too for a youth week. Here it is. Picture That’s Mr. Sodeberg in the black suit. Ted sent this to me and he didn’t know. But that’s me next to him. I’m pretty sure it’s me. It looks like me. That makes me think it’s me. I’m talking. That makes me think it’s me. I had a tie like that. That makes me think it’s me. And the little hottie in the picture is completely ignoring me. And that makes me certain it’s me. Mr. Sodeberg, he wasn’t educated the way folks in my church were. He didn’t drive the kind of car they drove or wear the clothes they wore. But he saw God at work. He saw some young boys who had come to believe in Jesus and wanted others to know Christ. And he could not do enough to be there for us, and encourage us, and tell us that we were gifted and full of potential.

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And now you have one guy who’s teaching seminary and you have another guy who God has been good to and has let speak to tens of thousands of people and lead many to Christ and be a leader of the orthodox, evangelical movement within the UMC. Here’s what I want you to know. Maybe you’re here to be that encourager to a new believer. If that’s you, tell me, “Just give me one person who’s new and wants to grow.” Or, “Let me lead a small group, I like people, and walking with them through life, I have a shepherd’s heart. I want to invest myself in some people.” If that’s you, 5 yrs, 10 yrs from now – and you see God has used you to help others walk into a new life. you’re never going to have a greater joy, never. to know that God has used you that way. Here’s another thought. At work. Those of you who are a little older and you’ve had some success. Find some guy who has potential and who’s trying. Take him out to lunch, ask him about his plans, about his family, how you can help him. Tell him about the strengths you see in him.

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Be a model to him of what a man of character is like. And if you won’t violate some policy, as your relationship grows, ask him how you can pray for him and his family, or give him a book that has helped you. Be available to him. One day we will look back on our lives. And we will want to know they mattered. That they counted for something. Here’s what I know. Two things will matter for eternity. What we did for God and his glory. What we did for other human beings. No one in heaven is going to be talking about their investments or how high they rose at the company where they worked. I’ve done 217 funerals. And other than saying that the deceased was a hard worker, successful and respected by his peers, families don’t ask that material success be mentioned much. But families tell me, and friends tell me, and co-workers tell me, including the 47 year old businesswoman and the 27 year old man I buried last week about times when the person cared, when he invested his time, his knowledge, his help in making their lives better.

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They tell about times when they were discouraged and a man gave them hope, when they were alone but a man stood with them, when they felt like a failure but a man believed in them. They tell me about a time when they had lost their heart, and a man gave it back to them. You and I can be that man. We can help others succeed at what matters most and in becoming a man for others, succeed ourselves.