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Infertility encouragement group Amen Bible Study Single parent support Book Review: Remember me

Members. Ministry. Mission. SUMMER 2008

Passion. Initiative. Purpose.

Second members heed God’s call into “entrepreneurial” ministries

Issue No. 4

Contents 2 MINistry: Wait Problems An Encouragement Group offers a warm refuge for women struggling with infertility and longing for a family.

6 MEMBERS: Singled Out A single mom loses her self pity and finds her mission in an outreach ministry to struggling single parents.

7 MiSSION: Practical Passion Medical and business professionals take their expertise overseas to open doors for the Kingdom.

10 No Regrets

The Youth Baltimore Missions team pitched in with some clean up work this spring at Brinkley Heights Urban Academy, where 2PC member Stephen Steiner is principal. He and his wife, Ginger, are serving as leaders for the Baltimore team trip. Brinkley Heights Urban Academy is located in inner-city Memphis on Rosamond Avenue.

A diverse group of men experience the sound teaching and warm fellowship of AMEN, thanks to a bold invitation from a coworker.

11 Story Update: Sharvicka

Last to R Day egist er June 1!

Vacation Bible School June 9 - 13 · 9:00 - 11:45 am

STAFF

First Word

Executive Team Sandy Willson Senior Minister Rocky Anthony Pastoral Executive Scott Hanson Program Executive

It’s hard to go first. In this issue, you’ll meet some of our members who’ve been willing to go first, to step outside their “comfort zones” in order to minister to those around them. A businessman invites a co-worker to AMEN. A young mother, fresh from her own struggles with infertility, heeds God’s unmistakable call to comfort other women who are waiting for children. Members with professional careers take their expertise overseas to open doors for the Kingdom in China. The one thing they all have in common: a willing heart. Sometimes God calls us to “go first.” Read their stories, and see if God is calling you to step up and reach out.

Pastoral Team Mike Allen Minister to Young Couples Mike Gatliff Minister to Middle Adults Tim Russell Assistant Minister/MCUTS Ron Sadlow Minister to World Missions Wes Simmons Minister to College Students Andy Wells Minister to Senior Adults Leadership Team Harold Ware CAO/CFO Johnny Allen Recreation Jonathan Becker Evangelism Todd Erickson Students Eddie Foster MissionUSA Brian Lewis Campus Outreach Sandy Hazelwood Children John Hodges Music Andrew Keasling Junior High Susan Nash Women Robb Roaten Communications Fenton Wright Shalom Project

Grace Halliday gives a heartfelt update on a dear friend.

12 A Good Word Sandy Willson has a special message encouraging us to find a ministry niche where we can best use our time and talents.

13 Book Smart Book reviews you can use and recommended reading from the pastoral staff. This issue our Director of Evangelism, Jon Becker, offers direction if you need a good read. Cover Illustration by Ryan Clark

Senior Editor Second Look Members. Ministries. Mission.

Second look Robb Roaten Creative Director Dana Hay Senior Contributor/Editor Josh Horton Art Director Shelly Hooks Designer Christy Paganoni Production Manager Second Look is published quarterly by Second Presbyterian Church, 4055 Poplar Avenue, Memphis, TN 38111-7699 © 2008. All rights reserved. Periodicals Postage Paid at Memphis, TN. *Postmasters: send address changes to: Second Look, 4055 Poplar Ave., Memphis, TN 38111-7699. Second Presbyterian Church holds services every Sunday. The 10:50 a.m. service is broadcast live each week on WHBQ (AM 560). In addition, the same service is telecast one week later, every Sunday at 10 a.m. on WREG-TV (Channel 3). The television broadcast is edited for length. For more info please visit our website at www.2pc.org. Phone: (901) 454-0034, Fax: (901) 327-1204.

For more information visit www.2pc.org/vbs or call Mandy Morse in the Children’s Ministry Office at (901) 454-0034. Summer 2008 Second Look

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COVER STORY

The waiting seems endless...

Women struggling with infertility find a comforting place to draw closer to God and each other in an Encouragment Group founded by Joy Madison.

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Second Look Summer 2008

but they still participate in the group. “They understand the struggle, and they have hope to offer to those who are still waiting for their prayers to be answered,” Joy says. She estimates that over the last five years, there have been 25 women in and out of the group, and at least 27 babies “prayed into” this world through this group. She’s only counting first babies for most of the couples, though many have gone on to have several. “This is the biggest reward and joy for me—to obey and act on what God has called me to do, and to get to witness first hand how big he can work! I had no idea what would come when I started the group, but I can see all of the miracles he has performed and all the prayers he has answered, both big and small,” she says. Joy knows personally about the miracles. She is now the mother of four little ones. Hart, 7, and Emily, 4, were both conceived through intra-uterine insemination (IUI). Then, Joy got pregnant without medical intervention but miscarried. Soon afterward, she

Life and faith can become a constant roller coaster, a disorienting rush of hope-filled highs and heart-sickening lows, punctuated with frustration, discouragement and soul-starving isolation. The unfulfilled ache for a child is one of the loneliest experiences in this life. God called Joy to help. Joy Madison was two months pregnant with her second child when she felt God calling her to begin an encouragement group for couples dealing with infertility. She and her husband, Jobe, had struggled for three years and she conceived her first child, Hart, and her second, Emily, with the help of fertility doctors. The tug was subtle at first. “God kept putting people in my path who needed encouragement in this area… people I’d meet out shopping, or through other friends,” she says. “I could sense that he wanted me to do something, but honestly, I tried to ignore it for a while.” Then, while sitting in a Christmas Eve service in 2002, it became clear what she must do. “I knew that God wanted me to start this group, and he wanted me to begin by sharing my testimony with our Sunday School class. I thought it was crazy,” she says with a laugh. “First of all, I’m standing there pregnant, so who’s going to want to see me start a group about infertility? And second, I’m asking my Sunday School teacher if I can share my testimony! That’s something you’re supposed to be asked to do!” But share she did, and the response was immediate. In January of 2003, the Encouragement Group, or EG as they call it, launched with about six couples attending. They met as couples for a few months, and then the group transitioned to just women. From the very beginning, the group included some who were not members of Second. They met every other week, and the emphasis was on prayer, encouragement, Joy Madison, second from left, founded the Encouragement Group. A recent meeting gave the women a chance to fellowpraise and thanksgiving. ship and pray for one another. (photo credit: Julie Torregrossa) “It’s a place to share your story with others who can understand,” Joys says. “It’s not just a place to conceived again without medical help, and gave birth to Jay, 2. She complain, although it is a safe place to cry, be hurt or express your is currently pregnant with her fourth, a girl due in July. anger and take that to the Lord and be loved. But we also talk about “God’s timing is always perfect,” she says. “He has a very specific the good things in our lives, things to be thankful for and to praise and perfect plan for each family. If you want to get off the roller him for.” coaster, you have to keep your eyes fixed on that and trust him.” Within a year, the group had grown to include between 16 and 20 women. Some were members of Second, some were Jewish, some Lean On Me were Catholic and others were not religious at all. The group met recently at the home of Frances Cowan on a warm “We decided early on that we were not going to tiptoe around April night. She has been a steadfast encourager and prayer warrior our faith. We were up front,” Joy says. But no one seemed to be put for the women in this group. It was a time for fellowship, sharing, off by the faith aspect of the group. dinner and prayer. Over the years, many have come and gone. Those who attend The first thing that you notice when you listen in on their now are all in very different stages of their journeys. Some have had discussion is the vast scope of topics they cover. With concern, babies, some have adopted, some are struggling to have a second laughter and healthy doses of shared advice they move effortlessly child and some are still waiting for their first. The core group of from IUI, IVF (in vitro fertilization) and comparing various fertility attendees who’ve come since the beginning all have children now, drugs to frustrations with adoption attorneys, doctors and husbands, Summer 2008 Second Look

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how to handle frozen embryos and complications like polycystic ovarian syndrome and endometriosis. One begins to appreciate the wide range of issues associated with infertility and their need for a place to learn from one another. Their devotion time begins with a question, “Do you base your faith on what God does or who he is?” They agree that the only way to get off of this roller coaster is to cultivate faith based on who God is. Frances turns to Proverbs 3:5 and shares with the group, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” And then, trusting him and leaning on each other, they bow their heads in prayer. Suzie Dixon knows about the waiting. She and her husband, David, prayed for eight years for a child. David suffered from Hodgkin’s Disease while in college, and it became clear that a biological child was not going to be possible for them. For the last four years, they’ve aggressively pursued adoption. Not once, but twice, they were finally promised a child through adoption agreements. Both times, after months of waiting, as they were on the way to pick up the baby, their cell phone rang and they were told the child would not be theirs. Suzie is a founding member of the Encouragement Group, along with Joy. “Anyone who has struggled with this knows how isolating it can be,” she says. “You miss out on so much… the playgroups, the birthday parties, even participating in so many of the conversations that revolve around children. And it’s hard for the husbands to really understand, so you carry the burden by yourself.” For her, the group has been a place to share the burden of waiting, and to find hope in seeing God answer the prayers of others. “I needed that hope,” she says. The group also became a place where women found their own desires and dreams take shape. “Often, women would come in with the mindset that they would never consider adoption, and then God would open their hearts. It was neat to see their evolution.” After that second heart-breaking phone call, David and Suzie turned the car around and drove straight to Second. They landed in Rocky Anthony’s office, in tears and despair over their dashed hopes. After much prayer and soul searching, they decided to stop pursuing adoption. “We felt that God was leading us in a different direction, and that he kept closing that door to us. He had brought a dear friend into our lives who happened to be a fertility doctor, so we decided to pursue that avenue,” she says. Over the next few months, David and Suzie tried several rounds of IUI. She underwent the last treatment Saturday morning, December 29. The day before, on Friday, they got a call from a college friend of David’s about a baby born in Mississippi who was available for adoption. The adoptive parents who’d been selected had to back out at the last moment, and the baby might still be available. They contacted their attorney to investigate, and Sunday evening at 8 p.m. they got a phone call saying the birth mother had selected them. The baby was theirs. “We were numb, overwhelmed, and not ready!” Suzie says. Their home study wasn’t current and they didn’t have the basic things they would need to care for a baby. The fertility doctor friend and his wife, Rink and Krista Murray, (also members of Second) loaned them a carseat. When it wouldn’t 4

Second Look Summer 2008

Top: Suzie tearfully meets her son, David Knox Dixon, for the first time. Bottom: Suzie and David Dixon and baby Knox in the photo that appeared on his birth announcement (photo credit: Julie Torregrossa).

install correctly in Suzie’s car, the Murrays handed over the keys to their car. Second members Clay Deacon and Bill Martin arranged to fly David and Suzie to Pascagoula in a private plane to save them many hours of travel time. This allowed them time on Monday morning to go to 201 Poplar and complete the legal requirements that were part of the adoption process. Josh Spickler, another 2PC member and a lawyer, met them there and helped them navigate the confusing legal system. Even the weather miraculously cooperated. The day before and the day after they flew, the winds were so high it would have made flying impossible. “But God stilled the wind for that 12 hours, creating the perfect environment for us to fly,” Suzie says with conviction. On Monday, December 31, 2007, Suzie and David met little David Knox Dixon for the first time. The nurse handed him over, and within a few hours they were flying over Jackson, Mississippi, watching fireworks light up the sky. “We passed Knox around, and everybody gave him a kiss and said a prayer over him. It was the best New Year’s Eve ever!” Suzie says. “When I look back, it’s obvious that those other babies just weren’t meant for us,” she says. “But I think things happened the way they did because God wanted everyone to know that Knox came strictly from him. He came out of nowhere, like manna from heaven.”

*Meredith and her husband are still waiting for a child.

Encouraging Words

They are three years into their journey, but she has found joy and fulfillment in the waiting. Most of the long-time members of the Encouragement Group have either given birth to or adopted children by now, and this has given her hope. For all of the things that the group has been in her life, Meredith wants to be clear about what it’s not: it’s not a group of women meeting and praying together just to get something from God, she says. “We draw close to each other, support and educate each other, but most importantly, we draw closer to God.” Joy invited Meredith to join the group two years ago. She is not a member of Second, but Joy knew her through family connections. She is a Christian. “It’s very ostracizing. You feel like it’s coming so easy for everyone else… and you begin to wonder if God is punishing you,” she says. She knows that isn’t true, but the years of prayer, encouragement and hope she’s experienced through the group have shown her some of the lies that women believe as they struggle with infertility. “The group is really about learning to appreciate where God has you right now. I think I have grown a lot as a person through this, by not having it come easy,” she says. That truth is evident in her life. She started painting as a hobby and now sells her paintings in an antique store (The title page of this story features one of her paintings). They are colorful and cheerful pieces that incorporate phrases like “be joyful.” “I think I would never have picked up a paintbrush if I hadn’t had this time of waiting and reflection… if I were busy with children, I would have totally missed this opportunity.” She also started a home business selling a clothing line, and has enjoyed success with that as well. This is something she feels she never would have attempted had her circumstances been different. The group has changed her in other ways as well. “It’s been very eyeopening. When I first joined, I had a very judgmental attitude toward in vitro fertilization. I had strong feelings that it was playing God, or challenging God. I feel differently now,” she says. “I believe now that God has given us these tools, the scientists, the doctors and the technology. Before, I felt like things like in vitro were ‘testing’ God, but now I see that you can take advantage of them and still be trusting God. No tool or technology can circumvent his sovereignty… no matter what we do, he still has the ultimate control,” she says with conviction. “I think we come to a place where we realize that God’s provision isn’t always how we anticipate it will look, but he will provide,” she says. Meredith is unsure how her dreams for a family will come to fruition. Whether it’s adoption or biological children, or some other path God has for her, she is trusting him with the desires of her heart.

Infertility and miscarriage are sensitive issues, and often people are at a loss for words when it comes to offering support and encouragement to friends and family members. We asked the women interviewed for this article for advice, and we’ve compiled their comments below.

If you are interested in joining the Encouragement Group, starting one of your own, or just want more information, please contact Joy Madison at (901) 761-1999 or [email protected]. The group warmly welcomes all newcomers, and all discussion is completely confidential. *Not her real name.

Please don’t say: Christian clichés such as “It’s not God’s timing,” “God must have a different plan for you,” or “Just trust God” (implying that their faith is weak). As true as these may be, your friends need your concern, not theology. Do you have kids? Why not? When are you going to have kids? Just relax, you’re too uptight/stressed/worried and that’s why you’re not getting pregnant. Don’t suggest they just need a vacation, or to fill out adoption papers, and then they’ll get pregnant, and don’t tell stories about people you know who did the above and ‘magically’ conceived. “We got pregnant without even trying/it was an accident!” Don’t exclude childless friends from your children’s birthday parties, baby showers or other childrelated celebrations. But try to be understanding if they choose not to participate.

Please do say: I’ll be praying for you. And then, really do it! Your prayers can make a difference. How are things going? Check in from time to time to see how things are, and don’t expect to get a “fine” answer each time. Be sensitive to when you ask these questions, as they may provoke emotional responses. When a friend experiences a miscarriage: I’m so sorry. I love you (if appropriate) and I’ll be praying for you.” Don’t try to offer theological explanations for why miscarriages happen. Then, really pray. Sending a handwritten note is always a good idea. Do share your own experiences if you too have struggled with fertility issues. Do realize that church can be an especially painful place for those struggling with infertility. Many activities and conversations are centered around children and family life. Be sensitive to your friends who may be struggling and offer encouragement and inclusion.

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Single-Minded Support when i found myself raising two children alone after a divorce, it was easy to feel sorry for myself sometimes. After all, because my children’s father lived in another city, I had to do all the driving, all the helping with science projects, all the everything, it seemed. A few years later when I found myself leading a single parent ministry at Second, I was embarrassed by my self pity. Around our little circle of single parents, there was a woman who had been shot several times by her children’s father when she was pregnant (the baby survived and thrived to the surprise of the doctors); a man whose wife died leaving him to raise six children alone; a doctoral student raising a daughter with a serious medical condition; and a man living in a homeless shelter for veterans, who was about to get custody of his daughter. Of course, that circle also included folks more like me, but their struggles, both physical and emotional, were no less real and pressing. Raising children alone is never easy. Reaching Out The single parent ministry at Second started in the heart and home of Carey Moore, who wanted to help single parents in our church. After I began leading the group in 2002, it evolved into an outreach ministry with just a few Second single parents involved.

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The group is now made up of mostly women, about half of whom have never been married and the rest mostly divorced. They are a diverse group, both racially and socio-economically, but there is a bond between them that breaks down all walls — they all want to be good parents who raise well-adjusted children and bring them safely to adulthood. And like all parents, they want their children not to make the same mistakes they made. Our ministry meets from 6:30 until 7:30 on Wednesday nights for nine weeks in the fall and nine weeks in the spring. We bring in speakers, mostly from the Christian Psychological Center, who sit in the circle with us informally and discuss topics such as discipline, personal finances, self-esteem, stress, health and safety. In between the two nine-week sessions, we have social gatherings and helpful activities such as a car-care event. While the parents are in their Wednesday sessions, the children can either attend choir, Kids Konnection, Bible studies or Rainbows, a program that helps children deal with loss of a

parent and other emotional issues. The children have benefited so much from these programs that many of our parents want their children to be more involved in Second activities year round. One mom told the group that her eightyear-old wakes up on Wednesday mornings and says, “Mommy, only 12 hours until we can go to church!” Spiritual Soul-Mates The church has supported us from the beginning, both financially and with deacons assigned to help us, and that support has grown over the years. We’ve gone from an allowance to finance social events and smaller expenses to having our own line in the budget. These days, our single parents and their children eat free every Wednesday night, get gift cards to help out with holiday needs, receive help occasionally with car and home repairs and utility bills and continue to enjoy a much-needed night out several times a year. What our single parents appreciate most, however, is the warm smiles they get from 2PC members they pass in the halls, the invitations to join them at their tables for dinner and the loving leadership directed toward their children. One teenager said to his mom, “People are just so nice here. Why don’t we come on Sunday morning, too?” Although our parents are diverse in so many ways, there is one area that they are alike — spiritually. I don’t mean they all have the same theology — that’s not something we discuss — but nearly all of our single parents are depending on the Lord God as they raise their children. They continually impress me with their faith and determination to live lives pleasing to God. One single mom, during one of our dinners out, announced to the women at her table that she was celebrating nine years of celibacy. All the other women broke into applause and congratulations. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2006, one of our moms organized a lunch-time prayer group just for me at her workplace. Another single mom called and left a message on my phone that said, “I’m just calling to encourage you. I know you know that God has the answer, and he’s in control, and he is a loving God.” This is from a woman who lost all three of her little girls in a fire a few years ago. It’s no wonder that I have continued to lead the single parent group since my remarriage in 2003. I have been blessed far beyond what I have given as leader of this group.

—candy justice willis

If you would like more information about the Single Parent Ministry, contact Sandy Hazelwood at (901) 454-0034 or [email protected].

WORLD MISSIONS 2008

Skilled service

Members put their Professional Talents to work for the kingdom

CHINA Business seminar

More than 100 Chinese businessmen and women attended a seminar for young professionals led by a missions team from Second in April. Ron Hickman and Matt Terhune led a team of twelve who worked alongside our missionaries in East Asia and a local host committee to hold the business seminar. As the speaker began his remarks on how to deal with crisis in our professional and personal lives, hotel staff continued to add chairs to the meeting room for the overflow crowd. Team members then hosted tables of seven to nine people to facilitate discussions following the address. The attendees responded with animated and challenging discussions, as well as accounts of their own approaches to dealing with crisis. For weeks afterwards, team members held followup meetings with the seminar attendees. Some meetings were one-on-one visits—others were in groups of table attendees. Great opportunities to respond to questions of personal crisis management often led to conversations of ultimate significance. Host committee members are encouraged about the opportunities to follow up with each individual seminar participant on their own personal quest for understanding. The China team says that their hopes and expectations for the seminar were exceeded before they even left the country. Team members: Earl Blankenship, Jack Brown, Michael Cook, Susan Crawford, Howard Graham, Ron & Elizabeth Hickman, Lon Magness, Bryan & Ginny Nearn, Matt Terhune and Gordon Thompson Top: Our missions team with young Chinese professionals who attended the business seminar. Middle: An introductory meeting of a Toastmasters club before the conference. Bottom: Lon Magness (third from left) with a Sunday evening Chinese fellowship group.

Summer 2008 Second Look

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WORLD MISSIONS 2008 Second Impressions

Meet YOUR STAFF

ukraine medical/DENTAL TRIP

The Ukraine Medical/Dental trip in April took a team of eight to treat orphans and residential children at the Internat School in Klevan, Ukraine. The school specializes in education for children with visual impairments of varying degrees of severity. The team also treated young men who are part of the Trade School Project for orphans where 2PC member John Whittemore is very active. Overall, more than 200 children benefited from a wide range of medical and dental procedures. On Sunday, April 5, the team attended the Church of the Good Shepherd, which is 2PC missionary Misha Dubovik’s church located on the Hope to People campus. On Tuesday, April 8, the team brought the trade

school students a pizza dinner and enjoyed a tour of the new house/dormitory. This facility is where many of the young people are living as they are going to school and being discipled by Sasha and Valya Bondarchuk.

Andy Wells

Team members: John Crawford, MD; Larry Higginbotham, DDS; Dan Meadows, DDS; Susan Riley, RN; Vicki Lafferty; Mary Pettey Garrett; Marilyn Whittemore and Mary Quinlan.

Family Wife, Carolyn, and three daughters: Rebecca Bailey, Jennifer Mixon, and Christina Wells

Top: The dental team along with their translators and driver. Left: Susan Riley and Dr. John Crawford with a young patient. Right: Vicki Lafferty and Dr. Dan Meadows treating a patient. Bottom: Dr. Larry Higginbotham and Dr. Dan Meadows preparing the clinic.

Job at Second Minister to Senior Adults Came on staff March 10, 2008 The thing about Second that’s surprised me most is The beauty of the buildings and the grounds. Best movie you’ve seen recently National Treasure 2 I’m really looking forward to Eating all this wonderful food and finding out I’ve lost weight! When I’m not here you can find me On a road trip. I love to travel. It drives me crazy when I think a conversation is over and I leave the room, only to hear a faint phrase that I think is addressed to me but my poor ears don’t get it all!

InDIA DENTAL TRIP

Dr. Kitsie Hendrix, Dr. Karen Klemis and Traci Stewart left for India in late February to work at the Kachhwa Clinic where our missionary, Raju Abraham, leads a multi-faceted ministry that includes a dental clinic. They worked alongside George and his wife, Stella, who are both Indian dentists and are helping the poorest of the poor in that region. The team coached George and Stella in newer procedures and demonstrated specialized work including dental implants for some ministry partners.

If my wife described me in one word it would be Steady My favorite guilty pleasure is Sneaking off and reading a good novel.

Top: Indian Dental Team members L to R: Traci Stewart, Dr. Karen Klemis, Dr. Kitsie Hendrix. Left: Indian ladies gathered near one of the 100 schools started by the Kachhwa Christian Clinic. Right: Children in the Kachhwa boarding school in their Sunday dress. Traci Stewart is coordinating plans to work with these students. Bottom: Dr. Hendrix did implant surgery on a missionary to place a lower temporary bridge. Dr. Stella will do a final bridge in a few months.

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Brian Schneider and friend/coworker Joe Ditulio enjoy fellowship and strong biblical teaching at a recent AMEN.

STORY UPDA TE

Second Impressions

Meet A Member

Gordon Thompson Birthday November 22 Family Wife Jennifer, twin 2-year-old sons Hil & Wilson L to R: Sharvicka, Kobe Allen, and Grace Halliday

Lessons in the Unlikely

No Regrets One invitation brings a diverse group together

a baptist, a catholic, a pentecostal and a presbyterian are having breakfast in the Fellowship Hall. It sounds like the beginning to an old joke, but it’s happening here every Thursday morning at AMEN Men’s Bible Study, and they’re joined by hundreds of others from various religious, economic and social backgrounds. At one particular table you’ll find a Baptist minister for a small church in Frasier, a lifelong Catholic, a member of local Baptist church and another who goes to a Pentecostal church in Arkansas. They are here every Thursday morning because their friend and co-worker, Brian Schneider, invited them.

“There’s a huge void for this kind of teaching,” Brian says. “I continue to tell others about AMEN, and I think once you get them in the door they love it. They are amazed at the number of men there from various backgrounds and shocked at the level of participation.” Vernon McCarty, the Baptist minister, says “None of my experience prepared me for what occurs weekly at AMEN.” Vernon points out that many of the rules that church growth ‘experts’ adhere to, such as avoiding controversial topics, keeping messages short and avoiding biblical doctrine—don’t seem to apply to AMEN. “AMEN will break all of these in the first 15 minutes of this week’s session! Well, glory!” Vernon says.

Brian has been a member of Second for 15 years and readily admits that he wasn’t a regular AMEN attendee until fall ’07. He’s been inspired by the church’s renewed focus on evangelism, but he has the same inhibitions about reaching out to others that many of us share. He decided to start small, and began inviting men in his office to the AMEN Bible study.

The small gesture of being invited to AMEN has made a big difference to Vernon. “As a bi-vocational pastor, to add even one more item to my calendar is painful, but I do not have the words to express how this has impacted my life! The conviction and presence of Christ through the simple teaching of his Word is a wonderful blessing to my soul.” When asked why he keeps coming, Vernon says, “I am just a beggar begging for bread… coming to feed on the wonderful Word of God and to sit in his presence.”

At the time, he was working for Physiotherapy Associates. One of the men in that office, Steve Griffin, accepted his invitation and began attending. Soon after, Brian changed jobs to his current position as a project manager with Methodist LeBonheur Healthcare. He invited the men there as well, and now there are two co-workers and two contractors that he comes in contact with through his job who are regular attendees. They, in turn, have begun to invite friends and family members of their own.

Nobody has ever responded negatively to one of Brian’s invitations. “I love having the opportunity to share the joy of AMEN Bible Study with others. Inviting men to an all men’s event is less intimidating than inviting them to a church service, and it’s a great way to reach out,” he says. “For a while I invited people and nobody would come, but I continued to look for opportunities. If you continue to be faithful to God, he will begin to use you in people’s lives.”

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Second Look Summer 2008

Grace Halliday grieves the loss of a dear friend sharvicka was profiled in the winter 2007 edition of Second Look, in a story about street ministries entitled The Word on the Street. At that time, she had just given birth to a baby boy named Kobe Allen, and received a terminal cancer diagnosis. Second’s Grace Halliday, a close friend of Sharvicka’s for many years, gives an update: “It is an unlikely story. We met in the summer of 1998 when she was 14 and I was 22. Our backgrounds and situations were very different. Sharvicka had been raised in one of the poorest zip codes; I in one of the wealthiest. I had come from a stable, two-parent home; she, from a single-parent home marred by crime and violence. She is black; I am white. It seemed so unlikely, but our friendship developed in spite of these contrasts. She remained positive and hopeful with her eyes fixed on God’s promises throughout treatment. We would sit together through countless doctors’ appointments and listen to the grim prognosis. I would cry, and then she would point me back to our Savior and remind us both that He is sovereign. For hours we reminisced about old camp stories, trips we had taken together, and old friends. The doctors did not know if she would make it a year, but we just celebrated Kobe Allen’s first birthday. It has been a long, painful year, but one that I would not exchange for anything. Sharvicka died April 14 at 1 a.m. She leaves behind her boys: James, 8, Douglas, 5, and Kobe Allen, 1. I find myself at the beginning of some new unlikely friendships. I have known her family and close friends for years, but she has always been there to connect us. I find myself in the familiar place of doubt, wondering how God can join these unlikely groups of people. But God continues to surprise me. He is always a great connector. He glorifies Himself by overcoming barriers that normally divide. These new friendships are unlikely—maybe even more unlikely than mine with Sharvicka. But I am continually reminded of how God uses the unlikely and how somehow, it is more beautiful because He does so.”

How long have you attended Second? Since 2001 Ministries you’re involved in Diaconate, Transportation Ministry, Finance Committee, Men’s Ministry Chairman, Nathan Street Fellowship Recently I’ve been inspired by Mr. Li, our van driver, while on a recent mission trip to China. His second daughter was born with a heart defect and needed surgery. He and his wife raised and saved the funds for the surgery but one of his church members had a motorcycle accident and did not have the funds to be treated. They gave the funds that they had saved for their daughter’s surgery to the friend, stating that they knew that our Lord would provide for them. People would be surprised to know I I order two desserts for myself while on dates with my wife. Favorite activity at Second AMEN and all of the different activities that I get to participate in with my children. Most interesting thing you’ve done/ seen/learned on a missions trip Our group in China sponsored a dinner for some local Christians to encourage them and hear about their ministries. After a time of sharing we spent some time in prayer. The power of the prayer from two of the older Chinese ladies left us very encouraged about their faith and reliance on our Lord. Ministry you’d like to see Second add or expand Over the past several years I have been blessed by having a mentor at Second. I would like to see Second have a more formal way of developing mentor relationships for men and women.

Summer 2008 Second Look

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a Good Word

Book Smart

Finding a Ministry Fit

Book Review

Remember Me

A Letter FROM Sandy Willson encouraging A lifetime of service

Deborah Bedford

Visioneering: God’s Blueprint for Developing and Maintaining Personal Vision

genre

author

author

Dear family, In this edition of Second Look, we are highlighting the ministries of all of our members by celebrating three dear saints: Joy Madison, Candy Justice Willis and Brian Schneider. Their lives and ministries illustrate the variety of ways hundreds of us serve at Second, in Memphis, and around the world. Who Is Called To Ministry? It is important to remember that when Jesus called us to be His disciples, He called us to engage in ministry: “Come follow me… and I will make you fishers of men.” (Mark 1:17) “Jesus… called to him those he wanted… that they might be with him and that he might send them out to preach…” (Mark 3:13, 14) “As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.” (John 20:21) Our service to the church and the world is a fundamental element of our relationship with Him. Ministry is for every Christian. How Do We Know Where To Serve? Our calling to ministry is both exciting and challenging. We must continually seek His guidance – from His Word and in prayer and through ministry experience. We must ask Him to give us a vision for how He might use us. We must look for opportunities to serve Him, and then we must train adequately for the task. As we carefully observe the fruit of our ministry and receive the candid feedback of spiritual siblings, we can, with ever-sharper focus, discern where our strongest contributions are to be made. What Types of Ministry Are Available To Us? There are, generally speaking, three types of Christian ministries: in the church, in parachurch organizations, and entrepreneurial opportunities. They are equally important, and we actively encourage 2PC members to engage the ones best suited for them. Church ministries include serving in the nursery, teaching Sunday School or Vacation Bible School, leading a youth discipleship group, helping in our Chancel Guild, singing in our choirs, serving as an officer or CC OASIS leader, etc. These ministries obviously have high priority because they pertain to the worship of God, our growth in Him, and the development of our children. Parachurch ministries include tutoring, coaching, teaching, cooking, cleaning, providing medical help and serving in a thousand ways with our ministry partners here in Memphis and around the world. We not only support our missionaries and agencies with prayer and finances, but also with our time, energy and expertise. These ministries are having a tremendous impact, and we believe Second Presbyterian Church should mobilize as many as possible into these ministries to serve the under-resourced peoples of our city and the world. The entrepreneurial ministries may be the most interesting (and scariest!) of all. These include intercessory prayer, evangelism, ministry to our families and friends, personal initiatives to serve those in need, and informal cooperation with others

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Second Look Summer 2008

to accomplish Christ’s mission here on earth. These ministries take place, not because anybody recruited us or cajoled us, not because our church or mission agency has needs to be met, but because we see an opportunity, we sense God’s prompting, and we know that God has gifted us adequately for the task. Often, these ministries are the most significant of all—the private conversation encouraging a friend to receive Jesus as Lord, the anonymous financial gift for someone in need, the sustained prayers for a hurting person, the visit to the bedside of a suffering friend, the neighborhood Bible study around your kitchen table. What Difference Does Our Ministry Make? All of these are the ministry of Jesus Christ and the ministry of Second Presbyterian Church. Some of them are public and well known, and some of them are personal and private. All of them are treasured by God. Remember the words of Scripture: “God is not unjust, he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.” (Hebrews 6:10) God bless you, His servants. Always, Sandy

Staff Recommendations

Fiction

Andy Stanley genre

unlike remember me, the mystery by

Mary Higgins Clark, or the chick-lit best-seller Remember Me? by Sophie Kinsella, the me in Deborah Bedford’s Remember Me is God. The title comes from Isaiah 46:9-10: “Remember the former things, those of long ago. I am God, and there is no other. I am God and there is none like me. I make known the end from the beginning.” And yet Bedford’s novel is no less romantic than a Kinsella novel and no less suspenseful than a book by Mary Higgins Clark. Sam Tibbits, the bachelor pastor of a non-denominational church in Iowa, has never forgotten his childhood sweetheart, Aubrey McCart. She lived year-round in Piddock Beach, Oregon, where Sam’s family vacationed every summer. Her family moved away suddenly with no forwarding address just before Sam went to Oregon to propose to Aubrey. Bedford does a lovely job of capturing the sweet, innocent love that develops along with friendship between Sam and Aubrey as they grow up, and she brings to life the sheer joy of a beach vacation. Flash forward to the present where Sam is forced to take a leave of absence from the church he pastors after a conflict with church leaders over ministering to the homeless of their city. Sam takes his nephew, who has recently lost his father, and returns to the beach that brought him so much joy growing up.

Inspirational Andy Stanley follows Nehemiah’s journey from the birth of a vision through the completion and celebration of the goal of a restored wall. Whether you’re a parent with a vision for your children or a CEO pursuing a corporate vision, Visioneering is a good resource to help develop and maintain God’s unique purpose for your life.

The Deliberate Church: Building Your Ministry on the Gospel authors

Mark Dever and Paul Alexander genre

Theology of the Church Here is a novel idea: use the Bible as a handbook to gather and guide the church! This book is full of theological reflection matched well with practical advice that remains faithful to seeking God’s wisdom, rather than man’s ingenuity alone, to address the issues we face in the church today.

Hard Call: Great Decisions and the Extraordinary People Who Made Them authors

John McCain and Mark Salter genre

Biography

It is very predictable that Aubrey ends up there also, but what happens after their reunion is not the usual stuff of romantic fiction. And Sam’s heartbreaking problem with his church is not the typical Christian fiction dilemma. Sam Tibbits’ struggles seem very real and believably complex, and Bedford leaves the reader wondering until the very end if Aubrey and Sam will finally get together and if Sam will return to his church and on what terms.

—candy justice willis

True to the title, the authors have gathered some of the freshest examples of heroism and true courage in difficult times. Each are reviewed and a real effort is made to make the principles transferable to today’s tough decisions.

In Christ Alone: Living the Gospel Centered life author

Sinclair Ferguson genre

Theology Full of rich application derived from the depths of Scripture, the author calls us to remember that theology was always intended to be personally transformational, not just theoretical.

Wednesday, July 2, 6:30PM · Dinner at 5:30PM

Copies of these books may be available in The Bookmark Bookstore or the Growing Place Library.

Summer 2008 Second Look

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Calendar June

5 6-9 9-13 11 15

NEXUS Graduation Inquirers Class Vacation Bible School Family Picnic Inquirers Class

July Thursdays Me & U Program 2 Patriotic Pops Concert 4 Independence Day*

August 1-3 8-9 27

Officers’ Retreat NEXUS Retreat Vision Banquet

*Church Offices Closed

Second Presbyterian Church 4055 Poplar Avenue Memphis, TN 38111-7699 return service requested www.2pc.org

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