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Give Them Grace

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Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus

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By Elyse Fitzpatrick, M.A. & Jessica Thompson

©2013 IBCD Unauthorized duplication without express written permission is prohibited.

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Table of Contents Introduction

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DISC 1 Session 1: This Is the Gospel

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Session 2: This Is the Gospel

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Session 3: This Is the Gospel

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DISC 2 17

Session 2: Outward Obedience and Christian Righteousness

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Session 3: Outward Obedience and Christian Righteousness

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Session 1: Outward Obedience and Christian Righteousness

Session 1: Salvation Is “of the Lord”

Session 2: Salvation Is “of the Lord”

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DISC 3

Session 3: Salvation Is “of the Lord”

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DISC 4 Session 1: Giving Grace to Yourself and Your Children

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Session 2: Giving Grace to Yourself and Your Children

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Session 3: Giving Grace to Yourself and Your Children

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Introduction This study guide corresponds to the material presented on each disc. All of the notes are included here. You may watch each DVD in its entirety (approximately 40-60 minutes) or you may watch it in three segments of approximately 15-20 minutes each. The suggested time to break is indicated in this study. Feel free to use this guide in the way that best suits your group’s needs.

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If you are going to use this study guide with a group, someone who has already read the book should act as a facilitator and discussion leader. Every participant will need this study guide and should also have a copy of the book (although this is not absolutely necessary). The facilitator should review the video and study notes before the class and should be ready to encourage discussion and answer questions.

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Each session has a set of discussion questions that will enable viewers to begin to consider the material before the video actually starts. Take time to consider questions and new insights of the group before you begin the video.

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The study may be used by an individual or in a group setting. Although these four presentations are each approximately forty minutes to one hour in length, you may choose to stop the video at the point indicated in this study guide. If you do so, you’ll end up with twelve approximately fifteen to twenty minute viewings with questions for each. The time to stop will not be indicated in the video itself, so you’ll need to watch the time counter on your video player and stop the video then. Or, the videos may be viewed in one hour segments. Feel free to craft these sessions and your study of this material as best suits you and your group.

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This Is the Gospel Session 1 Before you begin to watch the DVD take a few moments to discuss: * What are you hoping to learn through this study? * What do you think you already know about parenting? About how the gospel connects with parenting? * Do you have any concerns as you begin?

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* Spend time in prayer, asking the Holy Spirit to illumine your heart.

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[Disc 1, Session 1]

* Elyse says that we don’t think about the gospel as much as we should. Do

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you agree or disagree?

* Do you think about the gospel as being “news,” particularly good news about what Jesus Christ has already done? Why would it matter?

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* Do you ever think about the incarnation? How would thinking about the incarnation impact your daily life and, in particular, your parenting?

* How does the truth of Christ’s sinless life inform your parenting?

* “Jesus is not merely our children’s example. If they are saved, he is also their righteousness.” Have you ever thought about this truth before? How would it change the way you parent your children?

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* When your children suffer they can be reminded that Jesus suffered in

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just the same ways. How often do you help them think of that comforting truth?

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* Jesus died a substitutionary death in our place for ALL of our sin. Do you share this truth with your children? Do you ponder it yourself?

* How does his wrath-bearing in our place comfort and assure us? Our children?

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* Jesus is raised again in bodily form on the third day. Why is this important?

* Why is justification important for you and your children?

* Jesus ascended in bodily form, taking human flesh into the throne room of heaven. Why is this important?

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* He then sent the Holy Spirit to us. Why is this good news?

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* He also reigns as Sovereign Lord over our lives. Do you speak with your children about this truth?

e [If you are viewing this DVD in three segments, stop at the 15:40 minute mark. You may spend the remainder of your meeting time discussing the questions above.]

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This Is the Gospel Session 2 Before you begin take a few moments to discuss: * What questions do you have about last session’s video? * What stood out most prominently as you have thought about it? * What are you hoping to learn?

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[Disc 1, Session 2: If you are viewing this DVD in three segments, begin this session at the 15:40 minute mark.]

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* The good news is about him but it is also good news about us. Do you view it both objectively (as about him) and subjectively (as about you)?

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* 1 Corinthians 15:1-8 lays out the entire gospel message. What are the factors that we see there? Why are they important?

* Do you think about yourself as being chosen?

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* Do you think about yourself as being forgiven?

* Do you think about yourself as being adopted?

* Do you think about your justification?

* Do you think about yourself as being the “Beloved?”

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* Do you think about yourself as being completely known and completely

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loved?

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* How would these truths transform your parenting if you lived in them daily?

* “Giving grace to your children begins by giving grace to yourself.” Do you agree? How would you do that?

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* As believers, we are more sinful and flawed than we ever dared believe, but we are also more loved and welcomed than we ever dared hope. Is this the message that your children hear from you?

[If you are viewing this DVD in three segments, stop at the 23:06 minute mark. You may spend the remainder of your meeting time discussing the questions above.]

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This Is the Gospel Session 3 Before you begin take a few moments to discuss: * What questions do you have about last session’s video? * What stood out most prominently as you have thought about it? * What are you hoping to learn?

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[Disc 1, Session 3: If you are viewing this DVD in three segments, begin this session at the 23:06 minute mark.]

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* Is your parenting Christian? What would make it distinctly so?

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* If parenting is to be distinctly Christian the gospel must motivate and inform everything we do. Do you see this in your parenting?

* We’re not trying to convince you of a new method. We’re reminding you about a Person whose presence needs to be remembered in your daily struggles with your children. Do you remember him?

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* Jessica says that parenting in light of the gospel has transformed and freed her. What are ways that you need to be freed in your parenting? Can you see how remembering the good news will do that for you?

* What is your primary focus as a parent? Is it WWJD or WDJD?

* Is the heart of your parenting our loving Father who freely adopts rebels and transforms them into loving sons and daughters? How often do you

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remember this and then share it with your children?

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* What percentage of your time is spent on the rules?

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* Do you believe that the Holy Spirit can work in a young child’s life?

* Jessica said that we’re all hard-wired legalists. Do you think that this is true of you?

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* What is the problem with giving only rules to the rebel? What is the problem with giving them to the self-righteous child?

* Luther said, “The law of God, the most salutary [beneficial] doctrine of life, cannot advance humans on their way to righteousness, but rather hinders them.” Do you understand how this would be an important truth to bring into your parenting paradigm? Why?

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* Do you find yourself afraid to give your children a robust dose of the good news? What is your fear?

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* Most of us tend to rely on the Law to make our kids good. This is not something that the Law was ever meant to do. Do you agree? Disagree?

e * Can you see that you might have a propensity (perhaps even now) to take these gospel truths and turn them into law?

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* When we do this, we’re in essence taking Jesus out of the picture, even though we say we’re raising our children for him. Do you see that is something you might do?

* The gospel, not the law, is what advances us on the road toward godliness. Do you agree? Disagree? Why?

* The statistics about how many children leave the church once they leave

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home are discouraging. Why do you think this is?

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* In the National Study on Youth and Religion, Christian Smith defined the religion of thousands of young people raised in Christian homes with these three words, “Moralistic,” “Therapeutic,” “Deism.” Is this the

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message that your children are receiving from you about Christianity?

* “Many of our young people have never really heard the message.” Do you agree? Disagree? Why would it matter?

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* Is the message your children hear from you, “Jesus died for you, now get your act together?” What will your message be in the future?

[End of Disc 1: You may spend the remainder of your meeting time discussing the questions above.]

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