SERMON SERIES: STONE TABLETS IN A WIRELESS

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SERMON SERIES: STONE TABLETS IN A WIRELESS WORLD SERMON: BOUNDARIES 9-23-18 By Pastor Rhonda Howard Exodus 20:1 – 18(NIV) And God spoke all these words: 2

“I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.

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“You shall have no other gods before me.

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“You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. 5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, 6 but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.

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“You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.

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“Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. 9 Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 10 but the seventh day is a sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. 11 For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

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“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.

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“You shall not murder.

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“You shall not commit adultery.

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“You shall not steal.

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“You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.

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“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”

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When the people saw the thunder and lightning and heard the trumpet and saw the mountain in smoke, they trembled with fear. OPENER: My sermon this morning deals with sexual purity. I want parents to be aware that this message may lead to some good conversations with your children. At the welcome center in our foyer, we have handouts with questions that deal with this subject and many scriptures from the Bible. I suggest every parent, take home to read and discuss with your children. Honestly, it would be good for everyone to take. The handout has a list of websites that are helpful and there is another handout that has suggested books on the subject. If you are concerned that your child may be too young to hear some of this, I want you to know that statistics say that 11 years old is the average age for a child to be exposed to internet pornography. Remember, God is the one who ordained and created this. The biggest challenge in preaching this sermon is that most people think that Commandment #7 is too old fashioned or irrelevant today. Here it is, stated in simple yet strong words……. Do not commit adultery. Let’s be honest, there is a sexual epidemic in our culture, and in the church. People are looking for love but they are settling for sex. The pain of this sin has hit many of you here today. Maybe you have had a parent or other relative who let you down, or your spouse had a relationship outside of your marriage. Others of you have been sexually abused. Some of you feel so addicted to sex that you feel that there is no way out. Maybe there are those of you who are so oppressed by the guilt and shame that you’ve lost all spiritual zeal! I pray that God will minister healing to you and restore your hope through His word today! KNOWING THE TEN COMMANDMENTS EXERCISE: One of the purposes in this series is to quote the commandments in their correct order: 1. Hold up pointer finger – point to the sky (no other gods) 2. Hold up two pointer fingers – have one bow before the other (no idols) 3. Hold up three fingers – place over mouth (don’t take God’s name in vain) 4. Hold up four fingers – place on cheek as if to nap (Sabbath rest) 5. Hold up five fingers – place hand over heart (honor parents) 6. Hold up hand and make a gun – (don’t murder) 7. Hold up five fingers on one hand and the pointer and middle finger on the other and cross them to show they are bonded together (yoadultery) 8. Hold up four fingers on both hands – using one hand grab the other (You shall not steal)

9. Hold up four fingers on one hand and five on the other – move the four up and down as they face the five to show that they are lying or bearing false witness about others (You shall not lie) 10. Hold up five fingers on each hand and pull them both in toward yourself – (You shall not covet) I.THE PRICIPLE- THINGS IT PROHIBITS – THE PRESCRIPTION – PATHWAY TO HEALING 1.THE PRINCIPLE BEHIND THIS COMMAND The physical union of husband and wife was God’s idea in the first place. Sex is a gift from God. It is a part of the goodness of God. Marriage is designed by God to be a permanent bond. God’s standard is this: One man with one woman pledged in a public covenant commitment to live together as husband and wife for life. This commandment states that all sexual activity outside of the marriage covenant between a man and woman is a sin. Faithfulness in marriage is the building block of our society, because faithfulness to the covenant of marriage is the foundation of the family. The New Testament teaches that marriage mirrors the relationship between Jesus and the church. God ordained and created family and the practice of purity protects marriage and protects the family. Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.  Marriage is to be honored by everyone.  Any sexual relations outside of marriage are impure.  There is judgement for any practice of sexual relations outside of marriage.

2. WHAT THIS COMMAND PROHIBITS Let me say this, God has a right to define the parameters of our sexual activity. Let’s look now at what this command prohibits. 1. Adultery- technically, adultery is a sexual relationship between a married individual with someone other than their spouse. “adultery” means to make impure by adding extra improper or inferior ingredients. I think of two words: add and alter. When you add someone or something else to your marriage you alter it for the bad. Object Lesson: Add improper ingredients to a recipe. (baking soda in biscuits) 2. Sex outside of marriage – The heart of this command applies to other sins that are related to it. Any sexual expression outside the bonds of the marriage relationship, including premarital sex. From the Biblical standpoint all sex outside the bonds of marriage is disloyalty to God and to your future partner.

SEX IS LIKE SUPER GLUE. CREATED BY GOD TO BOND TOGETHER A HUSBAND AND WIFE. IF YOU ARE NOT CAREFUL WITH SUPER GLUE IT CAN BOND YOU TO THINGS YOU DON’T WANT AND IT CAN CREATE A MESS IF YOU ARE NOT CAREFUL WHEN AND WHERE YOU USE IT. CO-HABITATION: TREATING CO-HABITATION AS MARRIAGE INSURANCE IS A VERY UNSTABLE FOUNDATION. IT’S BASICALLY SAYING THAT IF YOU MEET ALL MY NEEDS AND SERVE ME WELL, THEN I WILL MARRY YOU. You cannot practice marriage. God doesn’t want his daughters to be taken advantage of. God wants his daughters to be treasured by a man who would lay his life down to serve and protect her. God doesn’t want you to give yourself to a man without his lifelong commitment to you. God doesn’t want you to give yourself to a woman without her lifelong commitment to you. God doesn’t want you to move in with a woman because it is in your best interest. God loves you and cherishes you and doesn’t want you to be used, stepped on, or broken. Don’t believe these worldly lies and don’t let them hold you captive any longer. A true man, a true woman of God will not only marry you, but help you pursue purity for God’s glory. C0-habiting couples decrease their chances of getting married. And co-habiting couples increase their chances of divorce by 50%. Note: Sex was not designed by God to be practiced outside of covenant. We are confused about what love is. We have lust mixed up with Love. True love created by God is more than emotions and desire it is also commitment. 1. YOU ARE OPENING A DOOR FOR THE ENEMY 2. YOU ARE HURTING YOUR TESTIMONY (marriage was designed by God to mirror His relationship with us) 3. YOU ARE IN DANGER OF LEADING OTHERS DOWN A SIMILAR PATH 4. CONSIDER THAT IT MIGHT BE TIME TO GET MARRIED DATING AND SEX: Sexual relations outside of covenant will affect you emotionally, physically and spiritually. Sin has a negative impact on us, the people around us and our environment. It affects us at multiple levels. DECIDE TODAY TO BE FAITHFUL TO YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND OR WIFE BEFORE AND AFTER YOU ARE MARRIED.

The gift of sex is a gift God has given you to give to your future husband or wife. Don’t allow it to be stolen from you. Every time that you have sexual relations you give yourself away. 3.

Lust – We can say, I am good on this, Let’s see what Jesus said about this command. Last week we learned that Jesus expanded the command to not murder to include our angry thoughts and assaulting language. In a similar way, he applies the seventh command to not commit adultery . Matthew 5:27-28“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. JESUS IS TELLING US THAT SIN BEGINS IN OUR HEART. IMPURE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ARE ALSO A SIN. ADULTERY IS THE FRUIT OF WHICH LUST IS THE ROOT. Lust – an overwhelming desire or craving toward sin You may remain outwardly faithful to God while inwardly lusting after someone else. Lust is a battle fought first and foremost in the mind. One may be lustfully occupied while listening to a sermon or driving a car or even while praying. Because of its unseen character, it is never safe to say of another person, “He could never have that problem”. IN THE THEATER OF THE OF THE MIND MANY THINGS TAKE PLACE THAT WOULD NEVER BE MENTIONED IN PUBLIC.

4. Pornography - Stats……The revenues of the porn industry in the US are bigger than the NFL, NBA and Major League Baseball combined. 5. Homosexuality – The practice of homosexuality is a sin. There’s no way around that if you believe the scriptures. To be pro-family and pro-marriage does not make one an anti-gay bigot. As Christians we must NOT accept the gay agenda. The Bible is clear on its definition of marriage. We must not only define it the same way, but also defend it. But, we are held accountable by God to communicate what the Bible says about marriage and homosexuality in the love of the Lord.

3. THE PRESCRIPTIONS TO HELP US KEEP THE COMMAND We need to take seriously what this command prohibits, but to do that we must follow God’s prescriptions/instructions. II.PURSUING PURITY

How many here this morning want to be healthy? If you make a decision to get healthier, you change your diet and eat better; cleaner. You try to get daily exercise to pump your heart and stay in shape. You work to get rest and enough sleep. If you are sick, you take your medication prescribed to get you well. How many want to be spiritually healthy? Then you have to do the things that keep you healthy. YOU MUST PURSUE PURITY. Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. This scripture compares our heart to a flowing spring of water. We have to make sure that our heart is kept pure. WHATEVER IS IN YOUR HEART WILL AFFECT YOUR ACTIONS. YOU WILL DRINK FROM YOUR OWN HEART. How many like to drink dirty water? Object Lesson: Pure water is water that is not contaminated. IF YOU ARE NOT SERIOUS ABOUT PURSUING PURITY YOU WON’T BE PURE. IF YOU DON’T PUT UP BOUNDARIES YOU WILL NOT STAY PURE. UNCLEAN HEART –CONTAMINATED LIFE. CLEAN HEART – PURE LIFE. OBJECT LESSON: Scotch tape If tape gets dirty, it loses is ability to stick to things. It loses its created purpose. It becomes unuseful. When you become impure, you lose your ability to pursue your divine purpose; the thing you were created for.

III. JESUS’ PRESCRIPTION TO STAY PURE Matthew 5:29-30 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery. ‘ 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

The Lord is not telling us to gouge our eyes out or literally cut off our hands. He is overemphasizing the need to separate ourselves and cut ourselves off from the bad influences of the world. Eyes and hands in this scripture symbolize sight and touch. The Lord is telling us that we have to put a watch over what we look at and what we touch. OUR SENSES ARE THE GATEWAY TO OUR SOUL. WHAT WE SEE, WHAT WE TOUCH AND WHAT WE LISTEN TO CAN TEMPT US TO SIN. Sin is so serious that we must take any measure required. Our eyes are the gateway to visual images that can lead to immorality. Our hands do the touching than can lead to the breaking of this command. Matthew 6:22 The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy,[c] your whole body will be full of light. 23 But if your eyes are unhealthy,[d] your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness! The eyes truly are a window. The thing about windows, though, is that they work both ways. You can look in through a window, but you can also look out. What are you looking at? If you are looking at darkness then you will fill your soul with darkness. What are you listening to?

IV. SETTING UP BOUNDARIES OVER OUR HEART Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Boundaries Defined: Illustration: To set up a guard means that you have someone posted at the entrance to make sure no one enters or exits that is not supposed to. Example: Me at the hospital. Example: It means that someone protects the contents of something valuable. When I visited the Smithsonian museum in Washington DC and viewed the Hope Diamond. The Hope Diamond is over 46 carats. There are guards posted to make sure that no one steals it. Your heart is the most valuable thing that you possess. God made us in His image. He breathed life into us and we became a living being. We, above all other creation bear the three fold image of God. We are body, soul and spirit. To have an eternal soul is a precious and should be valuable to

us. At the time of our passing, our spirit that is meshed and made one with God’s Spirit will carry our soul to heaven. Then at the return of Christ we will receive new bodies. Object Lesson: Toothbrush – If someone used your toothbrush that would be crossing a line. WE TAKE BETTER CARE OF OUR TOOTHBRUSH THAN WE DO OUR HEART. Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

IV.SETTING UP BOUNDARIES TO STAY SPIRITUALLY PURE/PRESCRIPTIONS 1. GUARD WHAT YOU PUT IN YOUR MIND AND HEART. 90% of all sexual encounters in the media are between unmarried people. Before the average American turn 18 he or she has witnessed more than 70,000 images of sexual situations 2. READ AND MEDIATATE ON SCRIPTURE Psalm 119:11 I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. 3. AVOID SPIRITUAL MISMATCHES I see a lot of Christians compromise their values and morals when they settle for dating or marrying someone who is not a follower of Christ.

2 Corinthians 6: 14-17 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15 What harmony is there between Christ and Belial[b]? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16 What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. ILLUSTRATION: Yoke - is a wooden bar that joins two oxen to each other and to the burden they pull. An “unequally yoked” team has one stronger ox and one weaker, or one taller and one shorter. The weaker or shorter ox would walk more slowly than the taller, stronger one, causing the load to go around in circles. When oxen are unequally yoked, they cannot perform the task set before them. Instead of working together, they are at odds with one another. Paul discouraged us from being in an unequal partnership with unbelievers because believers and unbelievers are opposites, just as light and darkness are opposites. They simply have nothing in common, just as Christ has nothing in common with Satan. The idea is that the pagan, wicked, unbelieving world is governed by the principles of Satan and that Christians should be separate from

that wicked world, just as Christ was separate from all the methods, purposes, and plans of Satan. He had no participation in them; He formed no union with them, and so it should be with the followers of the one in relation to the followers of the other. Attempting to live a Christian life with a non-Christian for our close friend and ally or as a boyfriend or girlfriend will only cause us to go around in circles. God’s plan is for a man and a woman to become “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24), a relationship so intimate that one literally and figuratively becomes part of the other. Uniting a believer with an unbeliever is essentially uniting opposites, which makes for a very difficult marriage relationship.

4. AVOID FLIRTING – Watch how you dress, how you talk. Flirting is not just fun. It can open a door to lust and bring temptation. 5. MAKE A COVENANT WITH YOUR EYES If you don’t have a web blocker on your computer, get one. If you can’t control what you watch on your phone, get in accountability with someone else. 6. BE CAREFUL ABOUT YOUR EMOTIONAL AFFAIRS If you feel that your feelings are starting to transfer to someone other than your spouse, or to someone else rather than that good Christian guy or girl God has for you,stop spending time with that person immediately. Martin Luther said…”I cannot keep a bird from flying over my head. But I can certainly keep it from nesting in my hair or from biting my nose off.” 7. MAGNIFY THE CONSEQUENCES Imagine what will happen when you have to tell your spouse about your sexual sin. How will your daughter look at you? What will your son have to model? Are you ready to be pregnant and have a child to take care of while you are in high school? 8. MAINTAIN YOUR MARRIAGE RESPONSIBILITIES 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 9. FIND AN ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Accountability means you are okay with someone asking you some tough questions. THE SECRET YOU WANT MOST TO CONCEAL IS THE ONE YOU MOST NEED TO REVEAL.

10. AVOID TEMPTATION 1 Corinthians 10:13 3 No temptation[c] has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted[d] beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted,[e] he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. WE KEEP PUSHING THE BOUNDARIES AND YET WE PRAY GOD TAKE THE TEMPTATION AWAY. GOD’S WAY OF HELPING YOU WITH TEMPTATION IS TO PROVIDE A WAY OUT. TAKE THE WAY OUT AND CUT OFF THE THING THAT IS TEMPTING YOU.  Dating couples: If you can’t handle being together in the dark. If you can’t control yourself when you are alone, then hang out with other people. 11. RUN FROM SEXUAL IMMORALITY 1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. RUNNING AWAY FROM SEXUAL TEMPTATION DOESN’T MEAN YOU ARE WEAK, IT MEANS YOU ARE SMART. GOD KNOWS THE WAY YOU CAN WIN IS TO RUN. Note: We are God’s temple. Temples are used for worship right? God is saying your body is to be a place where God is worshiped. To bring someone else into your temple is to defile your worship to God. Almost all pagan religions to false gods practiced sexual activity in their temples. Paul is making a comparison here and saying, don’t do that. 12. GET MARRIED 1 Corinthians 7:9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. CLOSING: PATHWAY TO HEALING: It’s never too late to do the right thing. Make a change. 1 John 1: 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

1. Confess to God 2. Repent – walk a different path. 3. Make right your wrongs you have done. 4. Seek counsel and accountability.