Student Notes 1 The Decision to Be Responsible

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SERIES: THE DECISIONS THAT MAKE A MAN

SESSION ONE, WINTER 2016

THE DECISION TO BE RESPONSIBLE Good Times Bad Times: In the days of my youth I was told what it means to be a man Now I've reached that age I've tried to do all those things the best I can No matter how I try I find my way into the same old jam. (Led Zeppelin) Who told you what it means to be a man? And what you were told – was it true, was it right, was it noble? The world needs men who are ______________________. The world does need men who are protectors and providers, leaders and lovers, mentors and teachers, husbands and fathers and friends and brothers. The problem is not that the world has too many men. The problem is we have a bunch of __________, pretending to be men, but inside are still sixteen years old, never having grown up emotionally or spiritually. WHAT MAKES YOU A MAN? The ______________ you make, act on, and live by. James Allen: You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you. But in reality your thoughts don’t take you anywhere – they merely show you where you might go. A better line is: You are today where your decisions have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your decisions take you. It is the man who has decided to act on his thoughts, work on his dreams and turn his visions into reality who changes his life and the lives of others. Thoughts may inspire you. But it’s the decisions you make that ________ you. We don’t become men by thinking about, dreaming about or envisioning manhood. All of those are important. But at some point we must decide to act and do ____________ things to be called men.

1 Corinthians 13.11: When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put away childish things. The Greek verb (katargeo) translated here as “to put away” means “to free a person from a ___________ power.” It is a deliberate and powerful verb. The most important decision we can make is to be _____________ for ourselves. It’s not size or age that separates boys from men – it is responsibility. It’s saying to ourselves: I am where I am today because of the decisions I made in the past. And I will be where I am tomorrow because of the decisions I make _______. Phillips Brooks: Someday, in the years to come, you will be wrestling with the great temptation or trembling under the great sorrow of your life. But the real struggle is now. … Now it is being decided whether, in the day of your supreme sorrow or temptation, you shall miserably fail or gloriously conquer.

TO BE MEN WE MUST BE RESPONSIBLE FOR: 1. HOW WE _______ A SITUATION. There is almost always more than one way to look at a situation, and we are responsible for how we choose to see it. EXAMPLES: A. Your wife tells you there are problems in your marriage. You can see that as criticism or as her telling you ___________________. B. You receive a negative performance review. You can see that as condemnation or as an _____________ to get better. C. Something you’re working on goes wrong. You can see that as a failure or as a chance to ___________. 2. OUR _____________. EXAMPLES: A. Your child ignores you when you come home. You can feel angry or you can feel concerned for your child and use this as a ___________ moment.

You are not a microwave oven – people can’t just press your buttons and make you go off. You have a mind, you have a will, you have the ability to ____________ your emotions. B. You are unappreciated at work or at home. A typical emotional response: self-pity. Habakkuk 3.17-18: Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines; though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food; though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. Life is hard and unfair. It’s understandable if you get down and feel sorry for yourself from time to time. But how long you stay down, how defeated you become in your spirit, whether you give up or rise up, whether you give in or give yourself to God and others – that’s your__________. Bill Hinson: We don’t live at the mercy of our moods. 3. OUR ___________. When guys have an affair, most of the time they tell me one of two things: (1) We didn’t ________ for it to happen. This is duplicitous and immature. You’re not a puppet, controlled by celestial forces you didn’t understand and couldn’t control. (2) I was lonely. Men don’t break their marriage vows because they are lonely but because they choose to. Once we say our jobs, our wives, or our backgrounds are responsible for our choices – we no longer are. Believe that, and not only are you believing a lie, but you are giving away your ____________.

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