The Essence of Marriage


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Sermon Notes

April 29, 2012

The Essence of Marriage Aaron Brockett | Ephesians 5:25-30

What do you do when things don’t go as you planned in marriage?

The essence of marriage is a promise.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word, so that He might present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of His body.

— Ephesians 5:25-30 (ESV)

worthy love

“I will even if you won’t.”

[Jesus] gave Himself up for her, that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word, so that He might present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. — Ephesians 5:26-27 (ESV)

And I thought, ‘After she has done all this she will return to Me,’ but she did not return …

— Jeremiah 3:7 (ESV)

I take you to be my husband/wife, I promise to love you without reservation, honor and respect you, comfort you in times of distress, encourage you to achieve all of your goals, laugh with you and cry with you, grow with you in mind and spirit, always be open and honest with you, I promise to love you faithfully, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death; as God is my witness, I give you my promise.

“It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but rather the marriage that sustains your love.”

— Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Myth 1: If I’m not happy, then something’s wrong.

consumer relationship

covenant relationship

Myth 2: A good way to discover if we are “compatible” is to live together first.

A life built on the idea of “maybe you’ll do” does not feel as dedicated as a life built on top of the “we do” of a commitment in marriage.

Myth 3: I can marry an unbeliever and eventually they might accept Christ.

Marry a partner, not a project.

Myth 4: Marriage eventually leads to boredom.

“I choose you to be my wife. I will do my best to love you, the way Jesus loves His bride, the church. I will encourage you daily. I will provide for you, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I will pray for you. I will listen to you. I will respect you as a woman. I will honor you as a child of the Most High God. I will be gentle towards you. I will challenge you to grow in your faith. I will hold you accountable to a high standard of purity. I will forgive you. I will apologize to you. I will lead you with humility. Our family’s spiritual development will be my highest priority. I will die to my wants and desires. I will surround myself with Godly friends who make Godly decisions. I will have accountability in my life. I will hide God’s Word in my heart daily. I will not settle for anything other than God’s best for us. I will not be arrogant. I will not raise my voice at you. I will not cheat on you. I will love you for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; until we are separated by death. God is my witness. I give you my promise, and I give you my heart.”

“I choose you to be my husband. I will do my best to love you, the way Jesus sacrificially loves me. I will trust you. I will ask God to give you wisdom as you lead us. I will follow you with humility. I will encourage you daily. I will respect you as a man. I will honor you as a child of the Most High God. I will serve you. And I will serve with you. I will be your friend. I will challenge you to grow in your faith. I will hold you accountable to a high standard of purity. I will provide for you emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I will forgive you. I will apologize to you. Our home will be my priority. I will be a Proverbs 31 woman. I will surround myself with Godly friends who make Godly decisions. I will have accountability in my life. I will hide God’s Word in my heart daily. I will not criticize you. I will not compare you to other men. I will not cheat on you. I will love you for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; until we are separated by death. God is my witness. I give you my promise, and I give you my heart.”