The Meaning of Mature Love

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The Meaning of Mature Love By Larry Burden 12/30/2018 1 Corinthians 13: 13 I.

Text – Read It A.

TWO WORDS 1.

Abide – meno – continue, dwell, endure, remain

The Word teaches that these three DYNAMICS of LIFE in CHRIST will NEVER END – They are ETERNAL and TRUMP ALL THINGS TEMPEROL 2.

Love – agape – intentional love

Vines - God’s love is NOT a love derived from AFFECTION or from the EXCELLENCY of its OBJECTS; rather it is an exercise of HIS DIVINE WILL in DELIBERATE CHOICE, made without any CAUSE except that which lies in HIS OWN INHERENT NATURE. We are LOVED by our FATHER as a MATTER of HIS CHOICE Jesus taught (John 15:9-10), Just as the Father has loved me, I have also loved you; ABIDE in MY LOVE. If you keep (set a guard and stay focused upon) my commandments, you WILL ABIDE in MY LOVE; just as I have kept my father’s commandments, and ABIDE in HIS LOVE B.

Simply Put – We are to LOVE BOTH GOD AND ALL MEN INTENTIONALLY as a MATTER of DECISION and NOT

MERIT 1.

It DOES NOT MEAN that we are not fonder of some than others

2.

It DOES NOT MEAN that we do not have emotional feelings for some over others

3.

It DOES MEAN that LOVE is NOT DETERMINED by the MERIT SYSTEM, which says, I love you because of WHAT YOU DO FOR ME Love is not how we FEEL about others; it is how we BEHAVE toward others – IT IS INTENTIONAL Deuteronomy 7:7-9 The Lord did not set His love on you or choose you because you were more in number than any of the peoples, for you were the fewest of all peoples; but because the Lord loved you and kept the OATH which He swore to your forefathers, the Lord brought you out by a mighty hand, and redeemed you from the hand of Pharaoh king of Egypt. Know therefore that the Lord your God, He is God the faithful God, who keeps His covenant and His lovingkindness to a thousand generations with THOSE WHO LOVE HIM and KEEP HIS COMMANDMENTS. II. Today I want to LOOK at EIGHT DYNAMICS of INTENTIONAL LOVE A.

Patience – showing self-control under fire 1.

2.

Patience literally means abiding under a.

Abiding under PRESSURES

b.

Abiding under UNDESERVED AFFLICTION

c.

Abiding under CHASTISEMENT

Also means to endure and to be long tempered a.

Longsuffering with DIFFICULT PEOPLE and SITUATIONS

Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance, and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with PATIENCE the RACE that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus PATIENCE – Endurance

RACE – marathon run with zeal in face of peril and affliction It is USED by the Father to TRAIN and to MATURE US to REMAIN in the SAFETY and STRENGTH of HIS PRESENCE when we are UNDER FIRE Great men and women of God have always been TESTED by FIRE to both PURIFY the HEART and FORGE their FAITH for the LIFE ASSIGNMENT 3.

B.

Webster – good natured tolerance of delay or incompetence a.

Becoming a SAFE PLACE for others to make mistakes in life and not be CONDEMNED

b.

Using MISTAKES to TEACH and to TRAIN – not SWEAR and RALE (Tillman and the Water Faucet)

Kindness – giving attention, appreciation, and encouragement

George Washington Carver said, Be kind to others. How far you go in life depends upon your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in your life, you will have been all of these. 1.

2.

Kindness is encouraging someone whether they are struggling or succeeding a.

Praise the good things

b.

Encourage through the Not-so-good things.

It is looking for the GOOD in each person and life

situation My MOTHER was an ENCOURAGER. She learned early in my life that she could get more mileage out of me with PRAISE than SCOLDING

When MOST PEOPLE are SCOLDED, they SHUT DOWN – when PRAISED they give 150% 3. C.

When one is LOVED, one is more receptive to correction

Humility – being authentic and without pretense or arrogance 1.

Moses was one of the HUMBLEST men to ever live a.

He KILLED and Egyptian for hurting a Hebrew

b.

He SMASHED to Ten Commandments in a fit of

c.

He ARGUED with God and lived to tell about it

slave rage

2.

3.

So, HUMILITY is NOT being WIMPY and WEAK a.

It is about being AUTHENTIC, REAL, and NOT NARCISSISTIC

b.

It is NOT thinking LESS about YOURSELF; it is THINKING about yourself LESS

HUMILITY is NOT being an INDIVIDUALIST a.

It is RECOGNIZING that we need ONE ANOTHER

b.

We need doctors to help us in times of sickness

Farmers to provide food / Truckers to transport our goods / Postmen to deliver our mail / garbage collectors to get the trash / gasoline stations to provide fuel / Workers in manufacturing to provide materials for the house Like it or NOT, we are NOT INDEPENDENT BEINGS!! Anonymous teacher writes, Humbleness is nothing more than a true knowing of yourself and your limitations. It is about being real and

authentic with people and discarding the false masks. James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will EXALT you. God doesn’t care how WONDERFUL you are, but He does care how REAL you ARE! D.

Respectfulness – treating others as important people 1.

Why? Because we are ALL MADE in the IMAGE and LIKENESS of GOD

2.

If President Trump were visiting us today, we would all be sitting in our chairs anticipating his arrival

3.

a.

We would all be on time and most would be early

b.

When he walked into the room, we would all stand in honor of his position

c.

We would all be on our best behavior

It should be no different when we come each week to meet with God Himself and with those of our family who are created in His image and likeness

We should treat ONE ANOTHER the same as we would ROYALTY – NOT JUST the IMPORTANT PEOPLE who can FURTHER our SELF INTERESTS 4.

Someone once said, God doesn’t create human rubbish, only people with behavior problems

5.

Story of Dr. Scott Middleton a.

Always addressed me as Mr. Burden

b.

I asked him one day why he always treated me as an important person. He answered, because

you are! E.

Selflessness – meeting the needs of others, even when it means to sacrifice your own 1.

The TESTIMONY of Jesus is one of SELFLESSNESS

2 Corinthians 8:9 For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sake He became poor, that you through His poverty might become rich. 2.

This is to be OUR TESTIMONY TOO

Proverbs 16:32 He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that rules his spirit than he that takes a city Matthew 16:24-25 Then Jesus said to his disciples, If anyone wishes to come after me, let him DENY HIMSELF (Be Selfless) and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life shall lose it; but whoever loses his life (becomes selfless) for my sake shall find it. Luke 21:1-4 And Jesus looked up and saw the rich putting their gifts into the treasury. And he saw a poor widow putting in two small copper coins. And He said, truly I say to you, this poor widow put in more than al of them. For they all out of their surplus put into the offering; but she out of her poverty (selflessness) put in all that she had to live on. Paul said in Acts 20:22-24 And now behold, bound in spirit, I am on my way to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there, except that the Holy Spirit solemnly testifies to me in every city, saying that bonds and afflictions await me. But I do not consider my life of any account as dear to myself (selflessness), in order that I may finish my course and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify solemnly of the gospel of the grace of God. OUR MINISTRY in LIFE is to PUT OTHERS NEEDS before our OWN F.

Forgiveness – giving up resentment when wronged

a.

Here is a FLASH about PEOPLE 1.

They will HURT YOU and be HURT BY YOU

2.

They will DESPISE and be JEALOUS of YOU and be DESPISD and JEALOUS by you

3.

They will DISAPPOINT and BETRAY YOU and DISAPPOINTED and BETRAYED by you

4.

They will USE YOU and LIE TO and ABOUT YOU and BE USED and LIED TO and ABOUT by you

POINT: NONE of us is EVER GOING TO BE A PERFECT HUMAN and WE ARE ALL GOING to LET OTHERS DOWN in LIFE b.

Forgiveness is a GIFT of God TO US 1.

c.

It DELIVERS US from internal bitter destruction

It is NOT pretending that BAD THINGS didn’t happen 1.

It is about ADDRESSING THEM openly, honestly, and directly with the utmost RESPECT and HONOR

2.

THEN, it is about LETTING GO of LINGERING RESENTMENT

3.

In so doing, you become LIBERATED from the CONTROL of OTHERS

4.

Following the Lord’s prayer (Mt 6:9-13), Jesus added: this:

For if you forgive men for their transgressions, your heavenly father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men, then our Father will not forgive your transgressions. d.

The GREATEST level of FORGIVENESS is forgiving oneself!

1 John 1:8-9 If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1.

To HARBOR UNFORGIVENESS against others SELF is to ASSUME the THRONE and become GOD

2.

The ENEMY of our SOUL would LOVE NOTHING MORE – DONOT GIVE HIM THE SATISFACTION

and

G.

Honesty – being free from deception a.

We all want to be around honest people – those who are truthful and who do not tell lies. 1.

Lies are nothing more but any communication the intent of deceiving others

2.

Speaking falsehoods about others is deceptive

3.

Not speaking up or withholding pieces of truth is also deceptive

with

b.

TRUTH and HONESTY are two EXTEMELY IMPORTANT qualities of LOVE! 1.

It clarifies expectations for people – we know where one stands on a matter

2.

It keeps us all accountable to one another and

3.

It delivers good news and bad news, provides helpful feedback, and is always fair

God

Story of the two elderly ladies visiting an old cemetery in England. They happened upon a tombstone with the inscription, Here lies an Honest

Man and a Politician. One of the ladies looks at the other and exclaimed, Oh dear me. They have buried two people in the same grave! c. H.

Honesty is NOT just not telling lies; it is also NOT telling half-truths

Commitment – sticking to your choices a.

b.

Commitment is staying committed to what you have committed to – BEING FAITHFUL 1.

Staying FAITHFUL to your MARRIAGE VOWS

2.

Remaining SOBER because you made a COMMITMENT to your FAMILY

3.

Being FAITHFUL in your LIFE ASSIGNMENT

Remember the BREAKFAST STORY 1.

The eggs were the product of CONTRIBUTION

2.

The bacon was an act of TOTAL COMMITMENT

c. We are FAITHFUL to our jobs in LIFE because we LOVE OUR FAMILY d. III.

We are FAITHFUL to support ONE ANOTHER because we LOVE OUR CHURCH FAMILY

So, what does all this accomplish? A.

B.

Establishes a CULTURE that will accomplish TWO THINGS 1.

Setting aside personal wants and needs for OTHERS

2.

Seeking the GREATEST GOOD for OTHERS

We SET THE STANDARD of GOOD BEHAVIOR in our COMMUNITY

1.

What if OUR LEADERS operated by these 8 dynamics of BEHAVIOR

2.

What if the MOUNTAINS of CULTURE were governed by LOVE BEHAVIOR - One can DREAM!!