The Secret of Marriage


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Sermon Notes

April 22, 2012

The Secret of Marriage Aaron Brockett | Ephesians 5:31-32

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. Ephesians 5:31-32 (ESV)

mega-mysterion: an extraordinarily great, wonderful, and profound truth that can be understood only with the help of God’s Spirit.

Allen, age 10, was asked: “How do you decide who to marry?” He said, “You’ve got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. If you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.”

Martin, age 10: “What do people do on a date?” “On the first date they should just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go on a second date.”

Pam, age 8: “When is it OK to kiss someone?” “When they’re rich.” Kirk, age 7: “The law says you have to be 18 … so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.”

Ricky, age 10: “How can you make a marriage work?” “Tell your wife that she looks pretty—even if she looks like a truck.”

Reality often reveals what romance once concealed.

Marriage was God’s idea.

But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man He made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, ‘This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’ Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. Genesis 2:20-25 (ESV)

And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. Revelation 21:2 (ESV)



“Come, I will show you the Bride, the wife of the Lamb.” Revelation 21:9 (ESV)



“Paul saw that when God designed the original marriage, He already had Jesus and the church in mind. This is one of God’s great purposes in marriage: to picture the relationship between Jesus and His redeemed people forever.”



— Tim Keller, The Meaning of Marriage

Our fall into sin flawed everything.

Satan hates marriage and will do whatever he can to frustrate, undermine, and destroy it.

In marriage, a man and a woman become one.

“Marriage is the most vulnerable relationship there is—you get exposed for who you really are.”

— Tim Keller, The Meaning of Marriage

“… but God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

Romans 3:20 (ESV)

What God initiates, He regulates.

The Gospel of Jesus and the marriage relationship explain one another.

“So, what do you need to make marriage work? You need to know the secret, the Gospel, and how it gives you both the power and pattern for your marriage. On the one hand, the experience of marriage will unveil the beauty and depths of the Gospel to you. It will drive you further into reliance on it. On the other hand, a greater understanding of the Gospel will help you experience deeper and deeper union with each other as the years go on. Through marriage, the “mystery of the Gospel is unveiled.” Marriage is the major vehicle for the Gospel’s remaking of your heart from the inside out and your life from the ground up. The reason that marriage is so painful and yet wonderful is because it is a reflection of the Gospel, which is painful and wonderful at once. The Gospel is this: We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe, yet at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope.”



— Tim Keller, The Meaning of Marriage