What's your love language?

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SCRIPTURE FOUNDATION

FOCUS OF TODAY:

For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully. Romans 12

A long time ago Solomon was the king of Israel. He was a very wise king. Once he said, "The tongue has the power of life and death." That is, the words we say to other people have a lot of power. You can use words to make a person happy. Or, you can use words to make a person feel sad. Solomon even went as far as saying that words can kill! That is why the first love language is so important.

SAY: Know we are going to talk about each of the 5 types of love languages. After this introduction, we will be able to take a test to see what your love language is. ANNOUNCEMENTS:

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Family Faith talks this Wednesday at 6:00 PM. Come with your family to discuss the theme of generosity.

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Trunk or Treat on Wednesday, Oct. 26. Let Lindsay know if you want to host a trunk.

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We need volunteers for the Men’s shelter on Friday, Nov. 14. Join us!

BRING TOGETHER: Announcements, Attendance

GAME TO BEGIN: Name Game: Choose a broad category (States, colors, boys names, girls names, bible books!). Write one category on a card. Place the cards in the center. Have someone puck a card and read it out loud. Go around the circle and how long you can go back and forth without repeating or running out. It can be played in a circle or one on one with a cheering audience. If you use the cheering audience, start out with one on one’s. When someone loses they go behind the winner as the winner finds another winner to play. The person behind the winner cheers the winner on. The game continues as the cheering crowd get larger and larger. If you play this way make sure to have lots of categories. Attached is a little ditty on how to say I love you in 100 languages. As we talk about “love language” it’s important to keep in mind we understand what we are familiar with, and it takes some time to get familiarity. Just like we are learning about our “tribe” we are learning each other’s gifts.

According to Dr. Gary Chapman, people speak different love languages. For many years, Dr. Chapman has studied how people communicate love to each other. And he has found that all people do not feel and receive love in the same way. He believes that to really express love to others, you must know their love language. It is important to know how they most feel love. All of use receive iand give love in each of the five ways. The five way are: Kind words of affirmation, Quality time, Receiving gifts, Acts of service, Physical touch. Although we can receive and give love in all of these ways, we each have a primary love language, one that we prefer. We tend to give love to others in the way that we want to receive love Sometimes that can be a disconnect. Someone may want to do things together and the other one would prefer a gift. Our faith tradition teaches that words are important and have power. Words of Affirmation—These are kind words that lift people up and encourage them. Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful Receiving Gifts—Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous— so would the absence of everyday gestures. Acts of Service—Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an Acts of Service person will speak volumes. The words he or she most wants to hear are, “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them, tell those with this language their feelings don’t matter. Physical Touch—A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love

Quality Time—In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and

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And our tribe, this Christian Community, will try to be more like Jesus every day: To know that our words have power to conncet, heal, and spread God’s love. LEARN: What did you learn about yourself and what ‘love language’ you are fluent in? ASK: If you were to think about your parents, siblings and friends, what would you think their primarily language might be? SAY: If you are stumped, like about what they tend to give people. Do they give gifts, say encouraging things, give back rubs and hugs, spend time with other, or do things for them? SAY: Let’s think about the love languages in our own lives. When have you be the recipient of a gift of love. ASK: What’s the nicest compliment you got this week? When did you notice someone giving you their full attention and really listening to you? When was a time that someone did something amazingly thoughtful in the past week? When did someone help you out or surprise you by taking care of a chore that you are usually responsible for? What’s the best hug you received this week?

End with Prayer, Hope and Wonders

Give this time in your group some thought before you begin your time together. How might you like to end your time together. How might you close with prayer?

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INVITE: What’s your love language? Supplies Needed: handout, pens or pencils Directions: Begin with a brief discussion about how we all are uniquely made in God’s image. There is no right or wrong – it is about self-discovery so you can become more aware of how to share God’s love with others -For each pair of following statements, circle the one that fits you best within your relationship. If you are not currently in a relationship, try to imagine how you would like to be treated if you were. Or think about how you like to be treated by family members and close friends. 1.

I like to receive encouraging or affirming notes A I like to be hugged E

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I like to spend one-to-one time with close friends B I feel loved when someone gives me practical help D

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I like it when people give me gifts C I like leisurely visits with friends and loved ones B

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I feel loved when people do things to help me D I feel loved when people give me a reassuring hand shake or hug E

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I feel loved when someone I love or admire puts their arm around me E I feel loved when I receive a gift from someone I admire or love C

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I like to go places with friends or loved ones B I like to high-five or slap around with friends who are special to me E

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Visible symbols of love (such as gifts) are important to me C I feel loved when people affirm me A

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I like to sit close to people I enjoy being around E I like it when people tell me I’m attractive/handsome A

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I like to spend time with friends and loved ones B I like to receive little gifts from friends and loved ones C

10. Words of acceptance are important to me A I know someone loves me when he or she helps me D 11. I like being together and doing things with friends & loved ones B I like it when kind words are spoken to me A 12. What someone does affects me far more than what they say D Hugs make me feel connected and valued E 13. I value praise and try to avoid criticism A Several small gifts mean more to me than one large gift C

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14. I feel close to someone when we are talking or doing something together B I feel closer to friends & loved ones when we wrestle, hug or shake hands E 15. I like for people to complement my achievements A I know people love me when they do things for me they don’t enjoy doing D 16. I like for people to cross the street to shake hands or hug when they see me E I like when people listen to me & show genuine interest in what I’m saying B 17. I feel loved when friends and loved ones help me with jobs or projects D I really enjoy receiving gifts from friends and loved ones C 18. I like for people to complement my appearance A I feel loved when people take time to understand my feelings B 19. I feel secure when a special person is physically close to me E Acts of service make me feel loved D 20. I appreciate the many things that special people do for me D I like to receive gifts that special people make for me C 21. I really enjoy the feeling I get when someone gives me undivided attention B I really enjoy the feeling I get when someone does some act to serve me D 22. I feel loved when a person celebrates my birthday with a gift C I feel loved when a person celebrates my birthday with meaningful words A 23. I know a person is thinking of me when they give me a gift C I feel loved when a person helps me with my chores or tasks D 24. I appreciate it when someone listens patiently and doesn’t interrupt me B I appreciate it when someone remembers special days with a gift C 25. I like knowing loved ones are concern enough to help with my daily tasks D I enjoy extended trips with someone who is special to me B 26. I don’t mind the “kiss-hello‟ with friends I am close to E Receiving a gift given for no special reason excites me C 27. I like to be told that I am appreciated A I like for a person to look at me when they are talking B 28. Gifts from a friend or loved one are always special to me C I feel good when a friend or loved one hugs or touches me E 29. I feel loved when a person enthusiastically does some task I have requested D I feel loved when I am told how much I am appreciated A 30. I need physical contact with people everyday E I need words of encouragement and affirmation everyday A

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Now go through your quiz again and count how many “A, B, C, D and Es” you circled and place the number in below. TOTALS: A: ________ B: ________ C: ________ D: ________ E: ________ Which letter has your highest score? That is your primary love language: •A = Words of Affirmation •B = Quality Time •C = Receiving Gifts •D = Acts of Service •E = Physical Touch

"I Love You" in 100 languages Say I love you in Afrikaans ... Ek het jou lief Say I love you in Albanian ... Te dua Say I love you in Arabic ... Ana behibak (to male) Say I love you in Arabic ... Ana behibek (to female) Say I love you in Armenian ... Yes kez sirumen Say I love you in Bambara ... M'bi fe Say I love you in Bangla ... Aamee tuma ke bhalo baashi Say I love you in Belarusian ... Ya tabe kahayu Say I love you in Bisaya ... Nahigugma ako kanimo Say I love you in Bulgarian ... Obicham te Say I love you in Cambodian ... Bung Srorlagn Oun (to female) Say I love you in Cambodian ... Oun Srorlagn Bung (to male) Say I love you in Cantonese/Chinese ... Ngo oiy ney a Say I love you in Catalan ... T'estimo Say I love you in Cheyenne ... Ne mohotatse Say I love you in Chichewa ... Ndimakukonda Say I love you in Corsican ... Ti tengu caru (to male) Say I love you in Creol ... Mi aime jou Say I love you in Croatian ... Volim te Say I love you in Czech ... Miluji te Say I love you in Danish ... Jeg Elsker Dig Say I love you in Dutch ... Ik hou van jou Say I love you in English ... I love you Say I love you in Esperanto ... Mi amas vin Say I love you in Estonian ... Ma armastan sind Say I love you in Ethiopian ... Ewedishalehu : male/ female to female Say I love you in Ethiopian ... Ewedihalehu: male/ female to male. Say I love you in Faroese ... Eg elski teg

Say I love you in Farsi ... Doset daram Say I love you in Filipino ... Mahal kita Say I love you in Finnish ... Mina rakastan sinua Say I love you in French ... Je t'aime, Je t'adore Say I love you in Gaelic ... Ta gra agam ort Say I love you in Georgian ... Mikvarhar Say I love you in German ... Ich liebe dich Say I love you in Greek ... S'agapo Say I love you in Gujarati ... Hu tumney prem karu chu Say I love you in Hawaiian ... Aloha wau ia oi Say I love you in Hebrew ... Ani ohev otah (to female) Ani ohev et otha (to male) Say I love you in Hiligaynon ... Palangga ko ikaw Say I love you in Hindi ... Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hai Say I love you in Hmong ... Kuv hlub koj Say I love you in Hopi ... Nu' umi unangwa'ta Say I love you in Hungarian ... Szeretlek Say I love you in Icelandic ... Eg elska tig Say I love you in Ilonggo ... Palangga ko ikaw Say I love you in Indonesian ... Saya cinta padamu Say I love you in Inuit ... Negligevapse Say I love you in Irish ... Taim i' ngra leat Say I love you in Italian ... Ti amo Say I love you in Japanese ... Aishiteru Say I love you in Kannada ... Naa ninna preetisuve Say I love you in Kapampangan ... Kaluguran daka Say I love you in Kiswahili ... Nakupenda Say I love you in Konkani ... Tu magel moga cho Say I love you in Korean ... Sarang Heyo Say I love you in Latin ... Te amo Say I love you in Latvian ... Es tevi miilu Say I love you in Lebanese ... Bahibak Say I love you in Lithuanian ... Tave myliu

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Say I love you in Malay ... Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu Say I love you in Malayalam ... Njan Ninne Premikunnu Say I love you in Mandarin Chinese ... Wo ai ni Say I love you in Marathi ... Me tula prem karto Say I love you in Mohawk ... Kanbhik Say I love you in Moroccan ... Ana moajaba bik Say i love you in Nahuatl ... Ni mits neki Say i love you in Navaho ... Ayor anosh'ni Say i love you in Nepali ... Ma Timilai Maya Garchhu Say i love you in Norwegian ... Jeg Elsker Deg Say i love you in Pandacan ... Syota na kita!! Say i love you in Pangasinan ... Inaru Taka Say i love you in Papiamento ... Mi ta stimabo Say i love you in Persian ... Doo...set daaram Say i love you in Pig Latin ... Iay ovlay ouyay Say i love you in Polish ... Kocham Cie Say i love you in Portuguese ... Eu te amo Say i love you in Roman Numerals ... 333 Say i love you in Romanian ... Te iubesc Say i love you in Russian ... Ya tebya liubliu Say i love you in Scot Gaelic ... Tha gradh agam ort Say i love you in Serbian ... Volim te Say i love you in Sioux ... Techihhila Say i love you in Slovak ... Lu`bim ta Say i love you in Slovenian ... Ljubim te Say i love you in Spanish ... Te quiero / Te amo Say i love you in Surinam... Mi lobi joe Say i love you in Swahili ... Ninapenda wewe Say i love you in Swedish ... Jag alskar dig Say i love you in Swiss-German ... Ich lieb Di Say i love you in Tagalog ... Mahal kita Say i love you in Tahitian ... Ua Here Vau Ia Oe Say i love you in Taiwanese ... Wa ga ei li Say i love you in Tamil ... Naan unnai kathalikiraen Say i love you in Telugu ... Nenu ninnu premistunnanu Say i love you in Thai ... Chan rak khun (to male) Say i love you in Thai ... Phom rak khun (to female) Say i love you in Turkish ... Seni Seviyorum Say i love you in Ukrainian ... Ya tebe kahayu Say i love you in Vietnamese ... Anh ye^u em (to female) Say i love you in Vietnamese ... Em ye^u anh (to male) Say i love you in Welsh ... 'Rwy'n dy garu Say i love you in Yiddish ... Ikh hob dikh Say i love you in Zimbabwe ... Ndinokuda

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